


HumanMate.Com

by KaliopeShipsIt



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alive Hale Family, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Werewolves Are Known, Confused Derek, Derek Hale & Stiles Stilinski are the Same Age, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Crack, Humor, M/M, Oblivious Derek, Or Is he?, Original Character Grandma Hale, Protective Stiles, Scheming Peter, Young Cora, mpreg Derek, mpreg theme
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-14
Updated: 2016-04-17
Packaged: 2018-06-02 05:33:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 23,631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6552964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KaliopeShipsIt/pseuds/KaliopeShipsIt
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Peter cons Stiles into believing he knocked up Derek. </p><p>Stiles decides to man up.</p><p>Derek is increasingly confused. </p><p> </p><p>A High School AU</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Teenwolf or any of the characters.
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not consent to people posting this story on Goodreads, any similar site, or re-posting it anywhere. 
> 
>  
> 
> My Lovelies!
> 
> I know what you're thinking: "Oh great, another WIP, how about she finish the ones she's got floating around already?" 
> 
> Never fear though, because this baby is 100 percent finished and will be posted in full by this Sunday.
> 
> It is part of my struggle against my - sadly - ongoing writer's block and corresponding problem to finish stories. I created the Word document over a year ago, which is the case with many of my as of yet unpublished 60 plus page WIPs in my fan fic folder, so I'm kind of stoked to be able to move at least one of them into the "Done" folder! 
> 
> This one's a bit different from what I usually write (you don't want to be a one-trick pony, even if you dabble in a mostly one-trick-pony genre), but I hope you'll enjoy it nevertheless! 
> 
> I appreciate your continued support and here's to hoping I'll work through my other WIPs eventually (I miss writing in my Alliteration verse, for one thing)!

_Stiles_

The first time had been … well, it hadn’t been a _disaster,_ exactly, but it definitely hadn’t been magical, life affirming, spectacular, or perfect, as all the filthy liars in the locker room liked to claim.

Instead, it had been a lot of other things: awkward (they really should have talked about who wanted to top that first time _before_ getting naked and staring at each other like a deer and a werewolf caught in the headlights respectively), clumsy (opening someone up with shaking fingers was really not as easy-breezy as the erotica he had read in preparation made it out to be), a bit messy (people _said_ there was no such thing as too much lube, but going through an entire bottle for safety purposes was probably pushing it just a little), and, for one brief second of performance anxiety that Stiles still shuddered to think about, absolutely mortifying.

Really, if Derek had laid back and thought of Beacon Hills, Stiles wouldn’t have blamed him.

For all the cocky attitude that he displayed at school Derek had been surprisingly not-at-all secure during the entire thing, blushing furiously when he had finally asked Stiles to top, staring at him intently while Stiles had tried his very best to get him ready and freaking him out even further (there were few moments when Derek’s creeper-tendencies were appropriate to begin with, and that one had certainly not been it) and his vulnerable expression afterwards, when he had obviously thought Stiles was going to get up and just go (when all he had really wanted was to get a washcloth), had destroyed any hint of post-orgasmic haze Stiles could have possibly fallen into.

Then again, when the sheets had been changed, the washcloths had been used, and Derek had fallen asleep against his back, Stiles had realized just how much Derek had trusted him that night – and not only because he had given himself over to someone who had obviously not had the slightest clue what he was doing either.

The Hales were the only werewolf family in Beacon Hills and although werewolf activists had made significant progress in educating the human population about their kind in recent years, stereotypes, prejudices, and stigmas were still running rampant in society, making many werewolves’ lives difficult even twenty years after they had first revealed themselves to the public.

As the only son of one of the most powerful Alphas on the West Coast, everyone automatically assumed that Derek would be an Alpha himself and before they had become a couple Stiles had often wondered if Derek was really the arrogant, domineering jock whose intimidating authority even put Jackson Whittemore in his place, or if he was just playing into the stereotype to make his life easier.

The truth, Stiles had found, was somewhere in between. Derek definitely had his snarky moments but he was also kind, loyal, and just as unsure of himself and his place in the world as the rest of their high school peers.

It irritated Stiles sometimes, the way people were constantly expecting Derek to take charge, expecting him to be fearless and without self-doubt, whether it was in his position as Captain of the basketball team or as president of the chess club (the shared hobby that had played a pivotal role in the evolution of Stiles and Derek into “Stiles and Derek”).

Derek had never asked to be the captain or president of anything but Stiles had quickly come to realize that he was also terrified of the alternative.

“Humans, in general, are scared of things they don’t understand,” Derek had once more said later that night, after he had woken up from his nap and nuzzled into the crook of Stiles’ neck.

“As long as I act like they expect me to no one’s going to go looking for trouble. Our rights are still so fragile, I just don’t want to do anything to risk it,” he had mumbled into Stiles’ skin, his fingers interlacing with the human’s, and Stiles had kissed his knuckles, a wistful smile on his face.

“You don’t ever have to pretend anything with me, you know that, right? I know the entire basketball team was talking smack about how you were going to fuck me all over the place now … don’t growl like that, it’s not like I care what they think about us. What I meant was, you don’t have to, you know, be Mr. Power-Top in here or something like that to fulfill the nonsensical expectations of someone who neither understands werewolves nor sex in general,” he had said determinedly and Derek had chuckled, his ears just a little red when he had playfully nipped at Stiles’ lip.

“I _do_ want to fuck you all over the place … but it feels safe to know that I can also … that I …”

His voice had trailed off and Stiles, fervently wishing that Derek had told him sooner how much it had bothered him that Stiles’ expectations of their sex-lives might have been shaped by speciesist nonsense, had once again kissed the werewolf’s knuckles.

“I trust you enough to be myself around you … I’d be sad if you didn’t return the favor.”

And well, maybe they weren’t quite at the l-word stage just yet, but in a society where relationships between humans and werewolves were tolerated but still kind of frowned upon by many people, realizing that Derek trusted him was perhaps even more important.

All things considered, their first time had actually been sort of perfect, after all.

 

==================

 

_Derek_

“What are you grinning about?”

Derek, who had been midway into the process of putting a spoonful of honey into his tea, froze, his grin wiped off his face instantly at the gleeful expression on his uncle Peter’s face.

“You’re dripping honey all over the place little Bear,” his mother Talia admonished him, nodding at the quickly growing puddle of honey on the tablecloth, and Peter barked out a sharp laugh, his eyes glinting as Derek hastily put the sad remainder of honey into his tea.

“That’s not all he’s dripping everyw… _ouch Mom!_ ” his uncle yelped, ducking out of Grandma Hale’s way as she once more raised the spatula she had been using to distribute the scrambled eggs.

“You might think you’re too old to have your mouth washed out with soap, but you’re really not,” Greta Hale said firmly and Peter rolled his eyes, letting out another yelp when his mother lengthened one claw and flicked it against his ear.

“Don’t mind him Derek, he’s just jealous because the last time he got some was … _ouch, Mom_!” Laura exclaimed, looking at her mother in betrayal when the Alpha shook her head, in disapproval.

“I won’t have that kind of talk at the breakfast table,” Talia said firmly, turning towards Derek with an amused little smile.

“That being said little Bear, remind me and your father to give you a little talk about how living in a house of werewolves affects your hygiene after a sexua …”

“ _Talia_!” Derek’s father Sebastian groaned, dropping the sports section of his paper onto the liberally buttered bread Grandma Hale had just put on his plate and Talia shrugged, reminding Derek of Laura when her eyes sparkled with just a little too much glee.

“Sorry Mom,” Derek mumbled, his ears burning in embarrassment, and Grandma Hale clucked her tongue as she put an extra-large portion of scrambled eggs on his plate.

“It’s ok little Bear, we all make that mistake in the beginning. Now tell me more about that boy of yours! When do I get to meet him properly? Is he nice? Handsome? Educated? Where did he apply for college? What are his career-goals? Will he make enough money to support you and …”

“If you intend to ask him all these questions I’m sure Derek will never bring him home to us so we can _meet him properly_!” Talia interrupted her mother and Grandma Hale let out the sigh of the long-suffering, a look of disapproval on her face.

“I just don’t feel right about him defiling our little Bear when I didn’t even get to invite him for coffee and a friendly conversation first! How do we know his intentions are noble unless we can listen to his heartbeat?”

“If you talk to him about _defiling_ Derek that poor kid’s heartbeat is going to go all over the place and none of us will be any wiser. Also, that’s not what it’s called anymore,” Sebastian Hale said, carefully folding up his buttered newspaper as he stared at the bread morosely.

“His dad’s the Sheriff, Nana, I’m sure he’s as … uh … _noble_ as can be,” Laura contributed gleefully and Derek glared at her, wondering – and not for the first time – if the Sheriff would mind too terribly if he just moved in with the Stilinskis to escape the increasingly mortifying family breakfasts, lunches, _and_ dinners he had been subjected to ever since he had come home from his first date with Stiles and his family had descended upon him like the boundary-less werewolf version of the Spanish Sniffs-Quisition.

“Mother has a point though,” Peter mused, smirking when he turned towards Derek again, clearly enjoying his embarrassment.

“I mean, dating a werewolf is still relatively unusual among the human population and there are certain … uh … _surprises_ that not every human is … ah … _equipped_ to handle, so shouldn’t we make sure he’s got the strength of character to …”

“Cora’s sitting right next to you so I swear, if you’re going to start talking about your knotting fantasies one more time I’ll lock you in the damn shed!” Sebastian growled, fixing his brother-in-law with an angry glare and Cora groaned, shaking her head at her father with a grimace.

“I’m 11, Daddy! I know things now!” she protested, at the same time as Peter huffed, “For you information, not everything I say has to do with knotting!” and Laura mock-whispered, “’s not like he’s got one to begin with!”

“You know nothing, Cora-Cub. Oh and Laura darling, don’t even think for a second I won’t lock you in the shed with your uncle,” Derek’s father said calmly and Talia sighed, raising her eyebrows at her eldest meaningfully before she turned towards Derek, ruffling his hair with a resigned grin.

“On second thought, you might want to keep that poor boy away from us as long as you possibly can. We wouldn’t want him to flee the country, after all. You want him to stick around, don’t you, little Bear?”

Derek nodded, not able to stop his goofy little smile from spreading all over his face.

“I do. He’s perfect, Mom,” he said and Talia smiled, pulling at Laura’s ear when his big sister pretended to throw up.

“I’m happy for you, little Bear,” she said and Peter snorted from across the table, his expression amused.

“I still say we should make sure that boy can handle the responsibility of fu … _damn it, Mom_ … of _courting_ a werewolf!” he protested and Laura huffed, her eyes glinting in challenge.

“And how are we supposed to do that, exactly? Lock him in the shed with _you_ for an hour and see if he keeps his sanity?”

“Something like that, yeah,” Peter mused, rubbing his fingers together in contemplation, and Derek glared at him, feeling anxious all of a sudden.

“You stay out of this, Peter! I’ll ask him to dinner, I promise, but if you so much as breathe in his direction I …”

“It’s not like I intend to scare him off, geez, you really do have it bad for that boy, don’t you? All I’m saying is I want to make sure my favorite little nephew is swapping kisses and fluids with someone who … _Mom_ , _ouch!_ _Seriously_!” Peter exclaimed and Derek leaned back with a satisfied smirk when his grandmother once more flicked her claws against his uncle’s ear.

He was terribly nervous about Stiles meeting his family, but at the same time his wolf couldn’t wait to see Stiles in his den, his thoughts drifting away to images of a happy Stiles snuggled against him during pack movie nights, smelling of home, mate, and happiness.

He was so focused on the lovely vision that he never noticed Peter’s shit-eating grin from across the table.

 

_================_

 

_Danny_

Danny Mahealani considered himself to be a very patient, very kind, and very honorable person.

The kind of honorable person that would always keep a promise, even those made under the influence of shock and adrenaline, shortly after having been rescued from certain eviscerated-by-mountain-lion death during track-practice last year.

It had been an altogether traumatizing experience that had even made the regional papers and Danny had all but blocked it from his mind successfully.

He had been successful, at least, until the madman who had rescued him from the mountain lion - and then proceeded to call himself the “Lion King” in front of every reporter willing to listen – climbed through his open window one night to reclaim his ‘life-debt’.

“You want me to do _what_? Why would you ask me to do that?” Danny asked, certain he had misheard the werewolf, and Peter sighed impatiently, tapping against Danny’s computer screen with a clawed finger.

“I’m asking you because I distinctly recall you owing me a favor of life-saving proportions. Look, I’ll even mail you all the information for the content, all I need you to do is set up that website and make it look like it has been frequently used by happily mated werewolves and their human mates for … say … the past two years.”

“Two years? Do you know how long it would take me to …”

“If I had let that mountain lion eat you we would not be having this conversation, so I’m sure that whatever you were going to say pales in front of the gratitude you should show me. Wouldn’t you agree? Also, there is that whole issue of the life-debt that you owe me, so …”

Peter grinned when Danny snatched his laptop out of his grasp, his face thunderous as he inspected the screen for claw marks. When he looked up his expression was cautious.

“Are you going to tell me _why_ you need me to set up that website?” he asked and Peter shook his head, grinning.

“Nope,” he said cheerfully and Danny sighed, looking down at his computer in resignation when the werewolf began to flat-out giggle.

“Should have just had that mountain-lion eat me!” he muttered gravely, not at all surprised to find the window wide open and Peter gone when he looked up again from his laptop.

“For the record, this is really weird!” Danny huffed, shaking his head against the images in his head as he tried to come up with a reason for why Peter needed access to this type of website.

Somewhere out in the distance a wolf howled.

Danny groaned.

“Really _fucking_ weird!”

 

=================

_2 Weeks Later - Stiles_

“It’ll be fine!”

“You _say_ that, but you don’t _know_ that!”

“They’ll love you, I promise! Just ... breathe, ok? Your chem-signals are all over the place and …”

“Oh my god, they’ll hate me, won’t they? They’ll think I totally stink! Literally!”

“What? No, you don’t stink, you …”

“We have to turn this car around right now, I’ll go get another shower, I’ll … _holy mother of …_ ”

“If you were planning to shower so no one would notice that you’ve been balls-deep inside my baby-brother as recently as this morning I’m afraid to say it’s a lost cause!”

Next to him Derek let out a deeply pained groan, his forehead thudding against the dashboard of Stiles’ jeep, and if Stiles hadn’t been busy catching his breath after Laura had unceremoniously yanked open the door he would have actually found it in his heart to feel sorry for his boyfriend.

As it was, the only feeling in his alarmingly fast beating heart was terror, inspired not only by Laura’s words but also her maniacal grin, eyes glowing just the faintest hint of gold and teeth subtly lengthened as she looked Stiles up and down.

“Gosh, you really are adorable, Derek can be glad I didn’t notice you first or we would have had a serious fight over who gets to claim you! Actually, considering that I’m next in line to be the Alpha I’m pretty surer I have seniority here, so I might just … just …”

Stiles wasn’t quite sure _what_ his face must have been doing to cause Laura to dissolve into such a fit of laughter that she collapsed on the ground, but it must have certainly been quite spectacular.

Next to him Derek yelled, “ _Mom!”_ sounding so endearingly overwhelmed Stiles wasn’t quite sure whether to laugh or quake in fear.

“Laura Agatha Hale!” a new voice rang out and when Stiles looked towards the Hales’ front porch Talia Hale was shaking her head at her offspring with her arms crossed, frown disappearing when she stepped off the porch to greet Stiles.

“Do not believe a word she says, werewolves haven’t mated according to pack hierarchies in over two centuries. Welcome to our home, Stiles, my little Bear has told us so much about you!”

“Uh … hi Mrs. Hale,” Stiles replied and Talia’s smile widened, her grip on his hand strong but gentle when she said, “Please, call me Talia, Mrs. Hale is my mother. Come on, let’s go inside, dinner’s just about ready!”

Stiles watched, baffled, as Talia Hale effortless hauled a still laughing Laura off the ground and dragged her to the house by her ear, turning towards Derek with a raised eyebrow and having to bite his lip when he noticed how flaming red his boyfriend’s ears were.

“That … could have gone worse?” he tried, interlinking his fingers with Derek’s and Derek gave him a despairing look, muttering, “How?” but squeezing back nevertheless as they made their way towards the entrance.

Stiles had barely hung his jacket on the coat hanger when there was a very insistent tug at his sleeve and when he turned around he came face to face with the next in what seemed to be a long line of intimidating Hale women, only this one was about a foot shorter than him.

“Hi, I’m Cora Philomena Hale! I know Karate. _And_ Kung Fu! Grandma said I didn’t need that stuff because I have claws, but Mommy said I could take classes if I don’t accidentally maim the human kids! That means I can kick you in your _boy parts_ if you … uh … if you _dishonor_ my big brother! Or if you’re mean to him! So you better not do either! Do _you_ know Karate?”

Stiles shook his head quickly, staring down at the little girl who was giving him a death glare eerily reminiscent of Derek when he was particularly grumpy about something and Cora’s eyes sparkled gleefully, her pigtails bobbing when she nodded in satisfaction.

“Good! That means you’re scared of me and won’t make my brother cry! Because if you do you have to go sleep with the fishes!”

“Uh …” Stiles said eloquently and by the way Cora’s little nose was sniffing he was reasonably sure he smelled intimidated enough to her satisfaction, his suspicion confirmed when she bounced away to the kitchen.

“We let her watch _The Godfather_ a month ago and she’s been convinced our pack’s secretly the Mafia ever since,” Derek whispered next to him, gently squeezing Stiles’ shoulder and Stiles cocked his head, making an inquisitive sound.

“Huh … you know, there _are_ theories that _The Godfather_ was actually a about werewolves, so she might be on to something there,” he said teasingly and Derek huffed, muttering, “Don’t encourage her!” as he dragged Stiles towards the living room, gently pushing him towards a big, comfortable looking couch.

“Mom gives me these looks if I don’t help in the kitchen when it’s my guest, so just make yourself comfortable, ok? My dad’s going to be ready in about five minutes,” he said, placing a quick kiss on Stiles’ temple before hurrying towards the kitchen.

Stiles leaned back against the cushions with a contented sigh, figuring that with Laura, Cora, and Derek’s _mom_ out of the way without any major catastrophes – he was studiously not thinking about the fact that apparently all the Hales could smell where his genitals had been this morning – the evening could only improve.

He let his gaze wander across the room, taking in the antique looking furniture, the fireplace, the many paintings and pictures on the wall, the gray wolf regally sitting in the armchair across from him and fixing him with a serious …

Stiles did _not_ squeak, really, he didn’t, but he was a tiny bit embarrassed when the entire Hale family came bursting out of the kitchen, expressions varying with different levels of alarm and – in Derek’s case – a serious death wish, reasonably sure that they had all heard his heart trying to explode out of his chest for the second time in under half an hour.

“Mother, please!” Talia said and the wolf raised her head even higher, completely ignoring her family as she gracefully leapt off the armchair and trotted over to Stiles, hazel eyes bearing into him as if she was trying to find the secrets of the universe inside his mind.

Stiles held absolutely still, eyes switching back and forth frantically between the impressive claws and sheer terrifying set of teeth and it seemed like a lifetime until the wolf let out a huff, taking a few steps back and morphing into a very tiny and – to Stiles’ horror – very naked old lady.

“ _Nana!_ ” Derek yelped, his face turning an alarming shade of purple – which Stiles was very aware of because he was studiously looking at Derek and nowhere near Grandma Hale – and Stiles was a bit unprepared when Grandma Hale once more stepped into his line of sight, this time clad in a robe and clucking her tongue with a displeased expression.

“Being ashamed of one’s nudity is a very human concept, young man, so you are forgiven for your childish display this time, but if you plan to marry our little Bear you need to get used to it sooner or later,” she said, holding up her hand when Derek began to splutter behind her.

“I … I’m sorry Ma’m, I … ah … uh … I wasn’t trying to imply that you … I … I’m not …”

Stiles was in all nine circles of hell at once and from the look on Derek’s face his boyfriend was right there with him, but Derek’s Grandma wasn’t done yet, her smile rather wolfish as she sat back down in the armchair.

“The Hale pack has endured for over six hundred centuries and over the years we have had many humans marry into the pack. We would, of course, be willing to accommodate you, but being with a werewolf does come with its fair share of hardships and responsibilities. Are you willing to shoulder them? For my _little Bear_?”

Stiles had never heard someone say a term on endearment in quite such a threatening way and he gulped, helplessly looking towards Derek, who looked like he was writing his own epitaph.

“I … of course I would …”

“You would stay with him, even when society ostracizes you? You wouldn’t leave at the first sign of trouble?”

Stiles’ indignation briefly overrode his utter fear of the unholy terror that had been unleashed upon the earth in form of the Hale women, crossing his arms over his chest with a frown.

“What? Why would I leave? I lov…”

The evening could officially no longer get any worse, Stiles thought as he clamped his mouth shut.

To his side Derek made a bit of a strangled noise, which did not at all boost Stiles’ confidence that he hadn’t just messed up everything.

Grandma Hale stared at him without blinking, her nostrils twitching ever so slightly and Stiles was _not_ prepared when she suddenly broke into a beaming smile, the corners of her eyes crinkling as she looked at him fondly.

“Call me Greta, dear boy,” she said warmly, getting up and holding out her hand and Stiles shook it almost on autopilot, holding his breath when Derek’s grandma moved away whistling and Derek took her place, hazel eyes blown wide open in wonder.

“Really?” he asked, taking Stiles’ hand as gently as if he was handling porcelain and Stiles raised his eyebrows, exclaiming, “Uh .. _duh_?” and then “Umph!” when Derek all but crashed their mouths together.

“Ewwww, gross!” Laura called from the kitchen, followed by a smack and a yelp, but Stiles didn’t care one tiny bit, because when Derek pulled back and cradled his face he looked happier than Stiles had ever seen him before.

“Your heartbeat was very steady,” Derek said softly and Stiles blinked, not having expected that turn of conversation at all.

“Uh … really? Because I still kind of feel like my jugular is about to burst out of my neck _Alien_ style any second now,” he said and Derek grinned, leaning forward and pressing their foreheads together.

“When your heartbeat is steady it means that you’re not lying,” Derek whispered.

“Oh? _Oh_!” Stiles exclaimed, smiling when Derek said, “Yeah. Oh. It’s a handy little werewolf trick we aren’t quite advertising.”

“Huh … wait, is _that_ why the President elected a werewolf as Supreme Court justice last year? Damn, you guys are good!” Stiles mused and Derek chuckled, his eyes soft.

“Yeah, we try. I do, too, by the way. You know?”

“You … oh! Cool! That’s … yeah, that’s cool. Really cool. Your grandma is whistling the wedding march, by the way, so I guess she … uh … approves? But … isn’t it kind of unfair if you can hear my heartbeat and I can’t hear yours?”

Derek grinned, taking Stiles’ hand and placing it on his chest, his voice quiet when he said, “I do. I really, really, do.”

“ _Oh my god, get a room!_ ”

Stiles and Derek broke apart immediately, both of them looking towards the dining table where Laura had just set down a pot of steaming cream-cheese-smoked salmon-cannelloni with a loud bang.

“I can almost see the little glittery hearts that are floating around both of your heads right now! Seriously, I’m going to be sick, the last time there was that much swooning in this house Dad had just surprised Mom with take-out from this tiny hole-in-the-wall restaurant that they went to on their first date! Nine months later Cora came along and while I bought their lies that the dubiously blessed event and all the swooning were completely unrelated back when I was eight I do know better now! So enough already, nothing good ever comes of that lovey-dovey crap!”

“Language little Duck!” Greta Hale chastised when she came back into the living room, carrying a big bowl of salad and followed by the rest of the family, including Derek’s father and a slightly younger man bearing an uncanny resemblance to Talia.

“Little Bear and little _Duck_?” Stiles whispered to Derek as they sat down and Derek shrugged, the tips of his ears reddening once more.

“I was very attached to my teddy bear when I was a toddler,” he explained and Greta Hale chuckled, her eyes twinkling as she sat down across from Stiles.

“He would get all territorial and flash his eyes whenever someone tried to take the teddy away. He even tried to growl, it was the most adorable sound I have ever heard! And when Laura first learned how to walk she would waddle like a drunken duck, so that’s why she’s our little Duck,” Derek’s grandmother said fondly, ignoring Laura’s resigned huff from the other end of the table.

“So what’s Cora, then?” Stiles asked, smiling at Derek’s baby-sister encouragingly and wincing when Cora huffed, decidedly not amused.

“I’m Cora-Cub. Because I’m the youngest. But that doesn’t mean I don’t know Karate!” she said, holding up her knife and fork in a rather threatening way and Stiles gulped, eyes fixed on Cora’s disapproving glare even as Derek grabbed his thigh underneath the table and squeezed encouragingly.

 

Dinner went reasonably well and by the end of the evening Stiles thought he had pretty much charmed all of Derek’s immediate family members.

All except Cora, of course, who, when she was informed that it was her bedtime, unceremoniously hopped up into Derek’s arms and demanded he read her a bedtime story, sounding rather determined when she declared, “ _Just_ you!”, slinging her tiny arms around Derek’s neck, and giving Stiles the stink eye over Derek’s shoulder all the way out of the living-room.

“Don’t take it personally, dear, Derek’s always been her favorite and right now she’s seeing you as a threat. It’s normal behavior for a wolf her age, she’s just about to hit puberty and her wolf instincts are clashing with her human instincts, though in this case jealousy and being territorial are actually quite similar. She’ll come around eventually, don’t you worry,” Greta Hale said with a smile, bursting into laughter when Stiles muttered, “Great, I’ve always wanted to be considered a threat by a little werewolf with sharp claws who, as I’ve been informed multiple times now, knows _Karate_!”

“Cora takes a while to warm up to basically everyone, pretty soon she’ll demand _you_ be the one to read the story, you’ll see,” Talia said, shaking her head when Stiles made to grab for some of the dirty dishes.

“Absolutely not, you are our guest. Make yourself comfortable on the couch, Derek will be back in about ten minutes and we’ll just get the kitchen ready during that time,” Derek’s mother instructed him and Stiles nodded gratefully, making his way over to the couches and flopping onto the love-seat with a little sigh.

“They can be a handful, can they? You’re doing quite well, you know, they chased away my last girlfriend within half an hour.”

Stiles let out a startled laugh when Derek’s uncle sat down on the sofa across from him and Peter Hale nodded, seemingly satisfied with his response.

Now that he was essentially alone with the man Stiles suddenly realized he really didn’t know all that much about Derek’s uncle.

His boyfriend had barely mentioned him before and Stiles’ knowledge of Talia’s younger brother basically started and ended with the fact that he had been an accomplished athlete at BHHS back in the day.

He had been mostly quiet during the dinner, throwing a couple of curious glances at Stiles but never joining the constant barrage of questions that had rained down upon him for a good one and a half hours.

Stiles liked him already.

“You definitely shouldn’t mind Cora, Derek’s always been her favorite of all of us. The Hale family has always been very female dominated, so when a little Hale boy comes along once in a blue moon it’s literally hardwired into all our females to be extra-protective of him. Cora’s just getting an early start,” Peter mused and Stiles, who clearly remembered the contented look in Derek’s eyes when Cora had nuzzled her forehead against his cheek, was pretty sure it was quite mutual.

“She threatened to kick me in my boy-parts, so I got the message loud and clear,” Stiles replied and Peter laughed, pearly white teeth shining brightly as he beamed at Stiles.

“Subtle and precise, that’s Cora for you. Honestly though, I’ve never seen Derek this happy so as far as I’m concerned you’d fit in with us quite well. He’s … _special_ ,” the older werewolf said and Stiles raised his eyebrow, feeling a little confused at the mysterious tone.

“Good, that’s … that’s good. We’re really getting along well,” he said carefully and Peter snorted, then scratched his ear as if he was embarrassed at his outburst.

“Trust me young man, we’ve all caught on to just _how well_ the two of you are getting along,” Peter grinned and Stiles cringed, wondering if he really did like Peter after all as the blush crept all over his cheeks.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable. It’s just that there’s still such a stigma attached to the whole idea. Personally, I am just _sickened_ at how they have turned us into fetish objects, not to mention all the horrendous _knotting-porn_! In college I myself had quite a few unfortunate encounters with humans who just wanted to be able to say they fucked a werewolf and I’m just happy that my only nephew found one of the good ones. You seem like you’re very smart, so I’m actually quite relieved that you guys took the time to educate yourself on the delicacies that come with certain human-werewolf relations. Perhaps you can actually contribute your knowledge to help others, one day. After all, web-communities such as HumanMate.com are still so small and unknown! It’s a shame, really, so once again, thank you for taking the time to be responsible, my sister and brother-in-law appreciate it, too!”

Peter smiled brightly and Stiles smiled back automatically, racking his brain for the name of the website and realizing to his shame that – even though he had googled around for prepping techniques quite a bit before their first time – he had actually never searched for specific human-werewolf relationship guides.

“What are you guys talking about?”

Derek plopped down onto the love-seat next to him and wrapped his arm around Stiles’ shoulder immediately, pulling him close enough to his body that Stiles could feel his increased body heat against his shoulder.

“Oh nothing, nothing, just a friendly chat between gentleman. I think I just heard Mother call for me, do excuse me for a second boys!”

After Peter had departed the living room with a little wave Stiles turned his head towards Derek, placing a soft kiss on his bearded chin.

“Your uncle is cool,” he said and Derek’s arms tightened around him, his voice sounding amused when he huffed, “That’s _one_ word for it.”

“He seems to like me more than your little sister, at least,” Stiles mused and Derek chuckled, kissing the top of Stiles’ head apologetically.

“Yeah, sorry about that. She’ll come around. I think. I mean, she hated Kate until the very end, but to her credit that was completely justified.”

“Good thing I’m not Kate, then,” Stiles said – a little bit on the snarky side – and Derek tilted his head up with one finger, his smile a little lopsided.

“And thank god for that!” the werewolf stated matter-of-factly, just before diving in for a kiss.

It was a good kiss, one of the open-mouthed, lip-biting, toe-curling variety, and Stiles felt himself getting lost in it, ignoring the little voice at the back of his mind that …

“Ah, the passion of young love! This reminds me of your dear grandfather, little Bear, he was also quite fond of biting when we were in the throes of …”

“ _Mother!_ ” Talia Hale shrieked, accidentally dropping the plate of cookies she had been carrying into the living room.

“ _Nana_!” Derek yelped, almost falling off the couch in his haste to untangle himself from Stiles.

Stiles had never been part of a big family, but as he watched the Hales descend into a heated argument over just how much information was _too much_ information, loosened werewolf understandings of personal boundaries be damned, he thought that he could definitely get used to this.

Like Derek before him, he never noticed the shit-eating grin Peter was directing at him from the shadows of the room.

 

==================

 

_Later That Night – Stiles_

Stiles had always prided himself on his researching skills, but within the first five minutes of browsing the forum at HumanMate.com he wondered if his confidence had been premature.

The site had obviously been around for a couple of years and Stiles almost wanted to kick himself for not having found it earlier, mesmerized at the way nearly 90 percent of the conversation topics fit his situation with Derek to a ‘T’.

After browsing through “Will I turn if my werewolf girlfriend bites my earlobe?”, “Are knots real?”, “Do werewolves always come that much?”, “Does werewolf sperm have more calories than human sperm?”, and “Will my werewolf boyfriend want to bottom for me?” Stiles felt almost giddy with relief, certain for the first time since he and Derek had slept together that he wasn’t messing this up.

Not that he hadn’t believed Derek’s assurances, but it felt nice to know that others were going through the same insecurities and worries.

Well … Stiles had never really thought of the caloric content of Derek’s sperm, but he was certain that someone, somewhere, had a need for that particular answer.

He had just set up his user account – just in case – and was scrolling through the older topics when the title of one post made him pause, his breath catching in his throat.

“What the … that’s _got_ to be a joke!” he exclaimed, clicking on the topic title with lightening speed, his eyes nearly boggling out of his head as he took in the picture in the first entry.

“ _Holy shit_!”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to point out that the HumanMate.Com Forum part worked a lot better when I could space it the way I wanted to in my word document and wasn't foiled by my inability to understand AO3s finer points of layouting, so I hope it still makes a least a little bit of sense.
> 
> On the other hand, after more than two years of having this account I finally figured out how to ... drumroll ... embed links into end-notes, so yay me!

_2 Weeks Later – Derek_

Derek was _exhausted._

He also didn’t deserve this.

Or at least he was pretty sure.

“Don’t stop walking or else you’ll fall asleep right were you stand and we both know I’ll take a picture of you drooling everywhere!” Erica grinned as she passed him on the way to his locker and Derek yawned in response, mouth splitting wide open in the process.

“I can literally see your fangs poking through and it’s quite unnerving. Long night?” Boyd asked, opening his locker next to Derek’s with a loud bang and Derek flinched, resting his tired head against his own locker as he turned towards his best friend.

“If you can call it a night at all! Remind me to kill me uncle at my earliest convenience,” he grumbled, admiring his red-rimmed eyes in the mirror on the inside of Boyd’s locker door and wondering if he would finally – and completely unintentionally – succeed in making a freshman cry in terror today, leading Laura to win a long-standing bet with his grandmother.

“What did he do now? Accidentally turn all your underwear pink again because some hookup left her lingerie in the family laundry?”

“Worse!” Derek groaned, rolling his tense shoulders with a pitiful moan.

“He took Cora out to play in the woods in the afternoon and when they came back Mr. Snuggles was missing.”

“Oh no! Not _Mr. Snuggles_!” Boyd exclaimed, looking truly alarmed, and Derek nodded gravely.

“Yeah. Peter had him in his backpack and we figured that he must have fallen out at some point on their way back so Laura, Dad, and I spent the entire night searching the floor of the forest for that tiny stuffed rabbit with Peter, while Mom and Nana tried to console my heartbroken baby-sister. And guess what?”

“It was in the backpack all along?” Boyd asked matter-of-factly and Derek snorted.

“Of course it was! None of us got any sleep last night and all Peter had to say was ‘Oops!’. Dad almost managed to put him in the shed this time, but the damn bastard was faster!”

“Sometimes I want to be part of your crazy family so badly, but on fine mornings like this I’ll sure trade fun and adventures for domestic boredom and a good night’s sleep,” his best friend remarked, clapping Derek’s shoulder when the werewolf huffed.

Derek and Stiles’ first shared class was just before lunch and even though he was hellishly tired and all around cranky by the time 11 am rolled around Derek couldn’t help but feel comforted when Stiles’ hand touched his back the moment he sat down, the human’s body hanging precariously in the air and his table tilting to the side as he tried to bridge the gap in between their respective rows.

“You look horrible, are you ok?” Stiles whispered urgently and Derek turned his head to place the quickest of kisses on Stiles’ lips, nuzzling their noses together just a little.

“I’m fine. I’m just really tired today,” he whispered back, instinctively leaning into Stiles’ touch when the human cradled his face as if to check.

“Are you _sure_ , because your eyes are …”

“ _Bilinski!_ Stop making out with Hale and save it for the locker room, are you _trying_ to defile every last place in this hotbed of teenage-lust masquerading as an education establishment?”

“Gaaah!” Stiles yelled, losing his balance and crashing to the floor with his desk included and Derek winced, feeling the tiniest bit of a headache forming behind his tired eyes.

The feeling didn’t go away and by lunch it had turned into an actual headache, which, while annoying, wasn’t all that unusual for an adolescent werewolf who hadn’t slept in over 24 hours, so Derek decided to just suck it up, waving Stiles’ concerns away and making a show of inspecting the human’s bruised elbows instead.

“ _I’m_ fine, you’re the one who looks like he’s about to keel over any second now!” Stiles grumbled as they sat down at their usual table and Derek shrugged, muttering, “Didn’t sleep well last night,” and hoping that Stiles would just let it go.

Cora still treated Stiles like a tick she couldn’t quite get out of her fur and Derek had decided to table any and all mentions of his little sister for the foreseeable future, well aware that Stiles was increasingly bothered by his failed attempts to charm the youngest Hale child.

“Pull of the moon?” Stiles asked and Derek shook his head, regretting it immediately when a fresh burst of pain flared behind his eyes.

“Derek?” Stiles asked, alarmed, and Derek sighed, bringing his hands up to his temples and trying to rub the pain away as best as he could, relatively certain that Stiles’ emergency aspirin probably wouldn’t work on him.

“I’m fine. Headache. Happens sometimes. Don’t worry,” he explained and Stiles frowned, looking like he was, in fact, very much worrying.

“Seriously, Stiles, I’m fine. Eat your curly fries, they’ll get cold.”

Stiles still looked like he wanted to protest, his mouth opening and closing before he turned away.

There was something tense in the line of his shoulders now and Derek sighed, having spent enough dinners at the Stilinskis’ home by now to understand that Stiles would always worry about the people he loved.

People who now included Derek, and even though his head was still pounding from lack of sleep and the noises in the cafeteria Derek couldn’t quite help the smile forming on his lips, the realization that Stiles actually loved him still absolutely breathtaking.

Yeah … Derek _definitely_ understood why Laura kept making gagging noises and he once more found that he didn’t mind one tiny bit.

Still smiling Derek crossed his arms on the table and rested his head on them, turning sideways to watch Stiles plow through his curly fries in a way that was probably disgusting to everyone but incredibly endearing to the werewolf.

He hadn’t meant to fall asleep and when Stiles startled him awake, looking even more concerned than he had before, Derek felt more than a little sheepish.

The short cat-nap had successfully taken care of his headache, however, and as they walked to their shared chemistry class together he interlinked his fingers with Stiles’ in what he hoped was a comforting manner, squeezing the human’s hand tightly in gratitude before they sat down at their assigned seats – as far away from each other as was possible, because Harris was a sadist who had never known love.

Or so Stiles kept insisting.

The smell of anxiety didn’t leave his boyfriend for the rest of the day, but because Derek was feeling a lot better he chalked it up to the upcoming chemistry test.

He was certainly feeling anxious about that one himself.

 

=====================

_Stiles_

The minute Stiles got home from school he raced up to his room, fingers shaking as he pulled out his laptop, got online and went to the HumanMate.com forum page he had bookmarked almost two weeks ago, eyes flying across the screen as he looked for the information that had been nagging at him all afternoon.

 

====================

 

**Topic: Werewolf Male Pregnancy**

_WerewolfLover1 writes_ : Holy shit my boyfriend just told me he’s pregnant – what the hell, how is this even possible?

 

_RedEyes54 writes_ : Congratulations, Dude! Cubs are a blessing and the Moon Goddess smiles upon you!

 

_WerewolfLover1 writes:_ Thanks Dude! I’m starting to calm down a bit but damn, that was quite a shock!

 

_Confused writes:_ Yo man, you stoned or some shit?

 

_RedEyes54 writes:_ Don’t feed the troll.

 

_Confused writes:_ Huh? Is that, like, a thing? Like, how the hell man?

 

_WerewolfLover1 writes_ : Definitely a thing. Didn’t believe it at first and my boyfriend got really mad at me, but now that I can feel our cub moving around in there it’s gotten a lot more real.

 

_Very Confused writes:_ But … how?

 

_IHaveAlwaysBeenTheAlpha writes:_ Dear Very Confused, I can understand that this is a very strange concept for a human. It is quite rare for a werewolf male to conceive … that is correct. However, it is certainly not unprecedented. While not all werewolf males have the genetic predisposition to become pregnant, those who are able to bear cubs have usually reported breeding success after nights of the full moon (which is not altogether surprising, if you really think about it) or after their first time with their partner (which, if they didn’t know they had the predisposition, can lead to some awkward situations). There are, of course, hardly any studies about this phenomenon, since it is so rare to begin with, not even among our kind, but I have heard that both mating under the full moon and mating for the first time produces a certain hormonal stimuli that makes the werewolf receptive for breeding. Hope that helps!

 

_WerewolfLover1 writes:_ My boyfriend had no freaking clue he could bear cubs – awkward doesn’t _begin_ to cover it!

 

_FurFreak writes:_ My boyfriend gave birth to our son three years ago and he’s been our biggest blessing ever since! My man almost broke up with me though when I figured it all out before he did. Word of advice to all you guys freaking out right now, no matter how obvious it gets you **_have to let them figure it out for themselves first_! ** I don’t know why that’s such a touchy subject, but realizing that I, a human, was more in touch with his body than he was really hurt his feelings and made him feel like he was going to be a horrible father – _not_ a good situation to be in!

 

_IHaveAlwaysBeenTheAlpha:_ My sister was the same when my mother figured out she was pregnant with my nephew before she did. Sulked around for days and went on about how her inner wolf had betrayed her. Pretty sure that’s a werewolf thing, not a man-pregnant thing.

 

_FreakingOut writes:_ But how did he even realize in the first place? Do werewolf boys get their periods? Shit, is _that_ why my boyfriend gets so grumpy once a month?

 

_IHaveAlwaysBeenTheAlpha writes:_ [insert rolling eyes emoticon]. No. Duh … _Muggles_!

 

_ReallyFreakingOutNow writes:_ Dude, _please_ , you’re like the only one on here with answers and my boyfriend hasn’t let me touch him in like two days! I hear pregnant people hate sex, please tell me how you can tell if you’re man-pregnant! Also, what’s a Muggle?

 

_IHaveAlwaysBeenTheAlpha writes:_ What’s a … you deserve to stew in your ignorance just, so you know! Luckily for you I am feeling charitable today. Male werewolves do _not_ get their period, but the initial symptoms of pregnancy are very similar to what a woman would experience. About a month after conception takes place (remember, for those who are receptive this often happens during a full moon or after their first time with their partner) the pregnant werewolf will start feeling very tired and might also experience headaches (while not in itself a sure-tell symptom this _is_ quite unusual for a werewolf because of our healing powers). About 6 weeks after conception has taken place the werewolf might experience random bouts of nausea. Werewolves in general are not prone to morning sickness, however, if your male partner does indeed experience nausea, chances are he is expecting more than one baby (while the term ‘litter’ is generally scoffed upon nowadays, male pregnancies are significantly more likely to end in a multiple birth). Werewolf pregnancies are shorter than human pregnancies, which means your boyfriend (if he is, indeed, pregnant, which I sincerely hope he isn’t, because that means he would have procreated with someone who has never read _Harry Potter_ ) will start showing around the 8 weeks mark. Hope this helps.

 

_IHaveAlwaysBeenTheAlpha writes:_ Forgot to mention, pregnant werewolves don’t hate sex, quite the opposite, really (as I came to find out the hard way, back when I was a young, hopeful teenage werewolf going through adolescence in a house with very thin walls and a big sister who just _had_ to pop out three kids) but their nipples might be very sore for quite a while, so tread – or, rather, suck – with caution.

 

_RedEyes54 writes_ : I’ve heard that massaging your pregnant boyfriend’s nipples with honey really does the trick.

 

_FurFreak writes_ : That stuff’s magic, man! Maple syrup worked for us, too.

 

===================

 

Stiles firmly closed the laptop, telling himself to stay calm.

He had googled for male werewolf pregnancy after his first visit to the forum and – other than a very explicit porn site that he had exited from in such haste he had almost thrown the laptop off the bed – he had found no real conclusive evidence that this was in fact a thing that could happen.

Of course there was hardly any actual research on werewolves to begin with, since few weres were willing to have themselves prodded and poked in the name of science to reveal their secrets and vulnerabilities to a society that still included hunters _and_ frequently called for rallies to take away their equal rights, meaning that he couldn’t quite rule it out yet.

Besides, Stiles could _definitely_ understand why they would have been cautious to educate humanity about something that so blatantly drove it home that they were different from non-supernatural beings.

Additionally, if _IHaveAlwaysBeenTheAlpha_ was correct the phenomenon was so rare that even many Alphas wouldn’t know about it, so, all in all, Stiles was determined to watch Derek carefully, just in case, but he wasn’t quite ready to go shopping for onesies just yet.

After all, the fact that his boyfriend had shown up to school looking like he was ready to pass out and suffering from a headache just about a month after they had first slept together was nothing but a coincidence and Stiles wasn’t going to worry about it at all.

Really.

He wasn’t.

====================

_2 Weeks Later - Derek_

Derek was going to _kill_ Peter.

Granted, his grandmother would probably be sad, but Derek was quickly reaching a point where he couldn’t quite muster up the energy to care anymore … muster up the energy for anything, really, since Peter had kept him awake all night for the third time this week alone.

Derek wasn’t quite sure what he had done in a past life to deserve having to temporarily bunk with his lunatic of an uncle but he was reasonably certain it hadn’t been bad enough to be subjected to night after night of sleeping in a room with someone snoring loud enough to wake the dead.

He still wasn’t quite sure just how Peter had managed to explode his hidden wolfbane bong in his room, but the result had been catastrophic enough to lead his mother to declare the room inhabitable for at least a week, her eyes fiery red and expression full of judgment as she had dragged Peter out by the ears while his father had opened all the windows with a handkerchief pressed tightly to his nose and mouth.

Despite Derek’s heated protestations Peter had decided to room with him until one could enter his room again without suffering immediate wolfsbane poisoning, and as he rested his head against the passenger side window of Stiles’ jeep Derek once more considered just moving in with the Stilinskis for good.

Granted, having Stiles pressed against him every night – blessed was John Stilinski’s premature decision to turn the guest room into a study as far as Derek and Stiles were concerned - probably wouldn’t have led to a massive increase in sleepy-times, but Derek could literally think of a hundred activities for sleepless nights that were more pleasurable and exciting than pressing a pillow over his head and fantasizing about how he could use it to smother his uncle into silence.

In increasingly violent fashion.

Last night had been even worse than the night before – Peter had liberally helped himself to some wolfsbane infused whiskey before his mother had confiscated the bottle – and as a result Derek had basically sleepwalked through the school-day, the knowledge that Stiles was invited to their house that night pretty much the only reason that had brightened his, in Erica’s words, rather ‘craptastic’ mood.

“Are you nervous about Cora?” Derek asked later that afternoon when Stiles brought the Jeep to a hold and turned off the engine and Stiles’ head whipped towards him, his expression startled.

“Huh? What? No, why would you think that?”

Derek sighed.

“Well … you’ve been quiet for almost the entire trip and my little sister _did_ sneak a note in my lunchbox with a stick-figure drawing named Stiles and wearing cement-shoes falling over a cliff last week. I was worried you might have gotten the wrong idea.”

Stiles snorted.

“That stick figure’s name was spelled Stylez, so I’m pretty sure it wasn’t her following up on her threat to make me sleep with the fishes. Besides, I have a habit of growing on people, so I am reasonably sure I’ll charm your sister eventually. It might be in ten years or on my deathbed, but I’m confident we’ll get there, so don’t worry, I’m not nervous about her. Well, at least not a whole lot. Plus, I actually think your grandmother is way scarier, so there’s that.”

Derek grinned.

“Nana absolutely adores you … so there’s that,” he said, smiling, and when Stiles grinned back Derek couldn’t stop himself from leaning over to kiss him, tiredness completely forgotten.

Due to exams and projects there hadn’t been many opportunities for them to kiss like that, let alone do anything else in the past two weeks and Derek – as well as his teenaged hormones – had missed the heck out of being with his boyfriend like this.

Stiles let out a soft moan when Derek deepened the kiss, muscles going pliant under Derek’s hands, and Derek gave it all he had, pulling Stiles even closer to him.

He really _had_ missed Stiles and his boyfriend seemed to share the sentiment, the scent of arousal suddenly heavy in the car, and for a brief moment Derek debated just leaning down and going all carpe diem - or carpe erectionem, if you wanted to be literal about it – on him, regardless of who could see, hear, or smell them.

The moment was brief and rudely interrupted.

“Jeez, is he trying to eat that poor boy’s face?”

“Pretty sure that’s not the only thing he wants to eat right no-ow! _Mom_! Damn it!”

“You be quiet now, those boys are _adorable_! Ah, young passion, this reminds me of a time when your father and I …”

Derek broke the kiss hastily, head whipping around only to find his big sister, grandmother, and Peter lounging on the front porch, all three grinning like Christmas had come early.

“Huh, wha …” Stiles began, voice still husky with arousal, before he followed Derek’s gaze and meeped, cheeks burning up as he buried his head against Derek’s neck.

“How long have they been there?” he groaned and before Derek could answer Peter’s voice rang out from the distance, sounding positively gleeful as he remarked, “I think we joined the party right before my dear nephew’s right hand took a break from the self-loving and ventured forth to explore the new frontier and to boldly jerk it where no wolf has … _Mom,_ it’s not my fault they were getting it on in the drive-way, stop hitting me, I’m just stating the obvious!”

“If you’re going to quote _Star Trek_ you better do it properly, or I’ll disown you where you stand, you know you were raised better than that! Derek, be a dear and bring Stiles inside, your mother is already setting the table and I don’t want the steaks to get cold.”

“Derek?” Stiles asked, having finally unstuck his head from the crook of Derek’s neck to squint out the windshield, “Why is your grandmother hitting your uncle with a spatula?”

Derek sighed.

“Don’t ask. Just … don’t. It’ll be better for your sanity, trust me.”

Peter was hovering in the hallway when they walked inside and Derek hissed, “Not one word!” at him as they passed him, turning back to throw what he hoped was a glare of death and Peter held up his hands with a smirk, the picture of pure innocence.

“Stiles, dear, so lovely to see you again!” Greta Hale said warmly as they stepped into the dining area and Stiles looked only a little startled when she wrapped her arms around him and pulled him into a firm hug.

“Told you my grandmother loves you!” Derek whispered and Stiles grinned, the grin fading when he turned around and once more found himself under Cora’s scrutiny.

“Hey there, Cora!” he exclaimed, startled, and Cora cocked her head, staring him down with an unimpressed expression.

“Stiles,” she said in a tone that one might use for “My nemesis,” and Derek frowned at her, whispering, “Be nice!” just loud enough for her to hear.

“I hope you like your meat medium-rare, Stiles, we like to eat ours mostly rare, but I didn’t know how much you appreciate the delights of nearly raw meat,” Talia said when she placed the pan on the table and Derek felt a perverse sense of pleasure when his grandmother pre-emptively flicked her claw against Peter’s ear, his uncle’s already open mouth closing with a put-upon sigh.

Dinner was once again a relaxed affair and when Stiles insisted on being the one to help clear the table this time Derek decided to use the opportunity to have a heart-to-heart with his baby-sister, who had been throwing death glares at Stiles for most of the meal.

“Cora-Cub,” he called out softly, sinking into the couch and holding up his arms and a second later Cora was plastered to him, her expression a tiny bit miserable and a lot petulant as she looked up at him through her bangs.

“You really have to be nicer to Stiles. I think you’re really hurting his feelings,” Derek told her and Cora sighed, legs curled up under her as she snuggled against him.

“I don’t _like_ him, Derek!” she muttered miserably and Derek frowned, holding her back a little so he could look at her face.

“Why don’t you like him? He hasn’t been mean to you and he’s really tried to be nice, hasn’t he?” he asked and Cora nodded glumly, idly playing with the fingers on Derek’s right hand, the way she had done ever since she had been a baby.

“I _know_. It’s just … just … you _never_ play with me anymore, Derek! You always play with Stiles after school now and I can’t come, even though I always get to play with you and your friends, and it’s not _fair_!” she finally rushed out and Derek winced, thinking back over the past few months and realizing that she did, in fact, have a point.

He had mostly hung out with Boyd and Erica before he and Stiles had gotten together but both of his closest friends had always been happy and willing to include Cora whenever they spent time at the Hale house, both having known her since her toddler years and – in Boyd’s case – since she had been a newborn.

In a way, Stiles was the first friend he hadn’t in some capacity shared with Cora and as he looked into her upset face Derek realized with a pang that even though she tended to sound like a weary old wise woman, his sister was in fact only 11 years old and too young to understand that there was a difference between friends and lovers.

“Cora-Cub, Stiles is not just my friend, he’s my _boyfriend_! That means that … well … uh … when we _play_ it’s not … oh shut up Laura, I can hear you cackling from the kitchen! What I’m trying to say is that …”

“Your brother and Stiles are in love with each other, Cora-Cub. That means that they need some alone-time every now and then, but that doesn’t mean your brother loves you any less. I’m sure if you start being a little nicer to Stiles he would be happy to play with you and Derek and Laura when he comes over for dinner,” Derek’s father said calmly from where he had been wiping down the table and Cora looked back and forth between her father and brother with a frown, as if she wasn’t quite convinced yet.

“Does he know lots of cool games?” she finally asked and Derek nodded quickly, recognizing the olive branch for what it was.

“Of course! He and I met while playing a game, so he’s quite an expert.”

“Chess is _not_ a game!” Cora lectured wisely, giggling when Derek tickled her side in retaliation.

“Derek, be a dear and go help your uncle with the garbage,” Derek’s grandmother called from the kitchen and Derek pressed a kiss to the top of Cora’s head, trying to be as subtle as possible as he held up his thumb when he passed Stiles on his way out of the living room.

“So, what kind of cool games _do_ you know?” Cora’s voice rang out behind him and Derek couldn’t quite contain his smile when Stiles declared, “ _All_ of them,” wholeheartedly feeling the relief he could hear in his boyfriend’s voice.

“That was faster than I thought it would be. A shame, really, I was looking forward to see him grovel,” Peter commented, already waving two trash bags and Derek glared at him, grabbing the last one and cursing the day his father had come up with the chore rotation system.

“It’s gone on long enough,” he snapped, wrinkling his nose at the stench coming from the bag in his hand and holding it as far away as possible as he followed Peter to the dumpster behind the garage.

“You ok Derek? You’re looking a bit … queasy,” Peter remarked when he threw open the lid and Derek frowned, not willing to admit that the smell was in fact beginning to upset his stomach quite a bit.

“What did you throw in here, your dirty underwear?” he asked, trying to breathe through his mouth as he hauled the bag into the dumpster and Peter huffed, looking delighted rather than offended when his own two bags followed suit.

“Charming, nephew dearest. Very charming. Actually, now that you mention it, I _did_ throw the last pieces of my dearly departed bong in there just this morning. Don’t tell me the smell still hasn’t worn off, I am so sorry, that was not my intention,” the older werewolf said, his face the picture of innocence, and Derek groaned, slamming the dumpster lid shut and wincing when his stomach rolled unpleasantly, a relatively harmless but sadly inevitable result after handling a bag contaminated with raw wolfsbane.

“I’m going to tell on you!” he promised darkly, still very focused on breathing through his mouth as he turned back towards the house and Peter snickered behind him, his “My mom or yours, little _Boo Boo Bear_?” sounding entirely too gleeful.

So yeah, he probably wouldn’t tell on his uncle, all too aware of what particular childhood trait had garnered him the addition of Boo Boo to begin with and grateful that his mother and grandmother had graciously agreed to drop part of the nickname once he had learned not to come crying to them about every single thing Laura had done to traumatize his childhood.

Besides, his uncle’s ability to hold a grudge was legendary and ratting Peter out had never amounted to anything good, as both him and Laura could regrettably attest to.

His belly was still churning a little unpleasantly but the wolfsbane-induced urge to vomit his dinner all over his grandmother’s petunias had thankfully passed and Derek took a deep breath as he stepped back inside the house, hoping that Stiles, who had smelled far too anxious and worried lately, wouldn’t notice.

Or his grandmother, Derek’s inner voice barely had time to say in resignation before Greta Hale unleashed her patented overprotective mother-wolf tendencies all over him.

 

================

_Stiles_

“What’s wrong my little Bear, why are you so pale?”

Stiles froze in the middle of his attempt to convince Cora that chess was in fact cool, head whipping around and his heart pounding painfully inside his chest when he took a good look at Derek.

His boyfriend wasn’t so much as pale but actually looked like he was ready to lose his dinner, one hand lightly resting against his belly even as he attempted to wave off his grandmother with the other.

“I’m _fine_ Grandma! Really! I just … I’m fine, don’t worry about it.”

“Are you _sure_ little Bear?” Greta Hale asked sternly and Derek nodded, looking embarrassed but resigned as he let his grandmother steer him to the couch, shrugging at Stiles when he was pushed into the cushions right next to his boyfriend.

“Are you really sure you’re ok? I thought werewolves didn’t get ill, why are you …” Stiles began but Derek shook his head, looking past Stiles towards the kitchen before he lowered his voice.

“I’m not ill, I promise. It’s just … I smelled something and I … I’m fine, really,” Derek finished quickly, once more looking towards the kitchen and Stiles followed his gaze just in time to see Peter pull his head back, as if he’d been listening in on the conversation.

“Do you need me to get you some water? Tea? Werewolf juice?” he asked, firmly telling himself not to jump to any conclusions, and Derek chuckled, still looking a bit pale but decidedly amused as he smirked at Stiles.

“Werewolf juice has … a bit of a different meaning around here,” he whispered and Stiles snorted, his growing anxiety momentarily forgotten in the face of a bad but unintentional pun.

“Water then,” he decided and Derek shook his head with a smile, muttering, “If you must,” as he sunk back into the cushions, obediently opening his arms when Cora seized the opportunity to once more stake her claim.

When Stiles got into the kitchen Peter was leaning against the fridge, a glass of water already in his hand and a smile on his face that Stiles, for reasons he couldn’t quite comprehend, found somewhat unsettling.

“It’s very sweet of you to worry about my dear nephew but there’s really no need. It’s true that we cannot die from common human illnesses such as cancer or heart disease, but that immunity does not protect us from ailments that come from certain self-indulging actions or … natural processes. Don’t worry dear boy, Derek’s going to be just fine. You’ll see, he’ll be a … uh … a _glowing_ picture of health again in no time.”

“Uh … that’s great,” Stiles said, all but grabbing the glass out of Peter’s hand and turning towards the living room, intent on fleeing from the horribly _knowing_ smile on Derek’s uncle’s face.

“One more thing,” Peter said pleasantly, his hand gripping Stiles’ bicep and holding him there, “Even though our advocates are intent on getting people to stop with the dog jokes already there are some canine traits that we do indeed share with our furrier ancestors … he’s not going to ask for it for fear that you’ll make fun of him, but I’m sure my nephew would just love a little belly rub to make him feel better. If you’d be inclined to do so.”

“Great, perfect, will do, thanks,” Stiles got out, his heart jumping inside his chest when Peter patted his back in a benevolent, almost congratulatory way before nudging him towards the living room entrance.

_This does not mean anything. Not a single thing. Nope, you’re being paranoid, it’s nothing_ Stiles’ mind chanted as he approached the couch, eyes widening when he took in the sight of Cora snuggled against her big brother, her head resting against his side and her fingers tapping against his belly, looking like she wasn’t even aware she was doing it.

_Young weres have great instincts, especially when it comes to the young_ , Stiles mind helpfully cited from his notes on werewolf biology and he tried to breathe calmly as he sat down next to Derek, holding out the glass with barely shaking fingers.

“Stiles? Are you ok?” Derek asked, frowning at him, and Stiles nodded, pressing his face against Derek’s chest when the werewolf pulled him closer.

“Your heart is racing. What did my uncle say to you?” Derek whispered, sounding a bit anxious, and Stiles took a deep breath, carefully watching Derek’s reaction as he placed his right hand on his belly.

“Nothing much. Just told me to stop worrying,” he said and Derek smiled, pressing a soft kiss against Stiles’ forehead before he leaned back his head, eyes closing when Stiles began to rub lightly.

“Told you,” he muttered, letting out a contented sigh, and next to Derek Cora let out a pleased sound as well, her hazel eyes sharp but filled with reluctant approval as she stared at Stiles.

If he hadn’t been about to freak out, Stiles would muse later, he would have probably enjoyed the victory a lot more.

 

 

===================

_HumanMate.Com Forum_

**To:** _IHaveAlwaysBeenTheAlpha_

**From:** _Batman91_

Dear IHaveAlwaysBeenTheAlpha,

I hope it’s ok that I’m contacting you via the private messaging function but I’m kind of freaking out and you seem to be quite knowledgeable, so I figured I’d ask. It’s probably nothing and I’m just being paranoid, but I stumbled upon the male werewolf pregnancy topic a couple of weeks ago and I’m starting to be a little worried that my werewolf boyfriend might be pregnant. Again, it’s probably nothing, but I figured it wouldn’t hurt to ask – is there a way to know for sure?

Hoping for a quick response!

Sincerely, Batman91

 

**To:** _Batman91_

**From:** _IHaveAlwaysBeenTheAlpha_

Dear Batman91,

Thank you for your message! Of course I’m willing to answer any questions you might have about this topic! It’s a shame that there is so little information available about male werewolf pregnancy, but – as I said in the forum – it’s so rare that even most Alphas are surprised when it happens in their pack (if they were even aware of the possibility at all), so I guess it’ll take a high-profile case (think a member of the Los Angeles Kardashian pack, for example) for the mainstream media to pick up on it. As far as I know, pregnancy tests for human women don’t work on werewolves (the testosterone seems to mess them up or something like that) so I’m afraid you’ll have to rely on your boyfriend to let you know. What kind of symptoms have you been noticing? Don’t feel ashamed to be candid, the more information I have, the better I can assist you.

Sincerely yours,

IHaveAlwaysBeenTheAlpha

 

**To:** _IHaveAlwaysBeenTheAlpha_

**From:** _Batman91_

That was quick, thank you so much – I’m really freaking out here and the fact that I can’t find anything reliable about this online really isn’t helping! Well, the first time we had sex was about six weeks ago (actually, six weeks and two days, I marked it on the calendar) and about two weeks ago I first noticed that he was starting to look really tired. Like, exhausted-tired, not just tired-tired, and he got headaches, too, which at first I thought were because of our midterms coming up, so I figured that was normal, but today he looked really nauseous and pale! Supposedly that can happen to werewolves when they overindulge, but unless one steak, salad, and a cup of vanilla pudding counts as overindulgence I’m pretty sure that wasn’t the reason. Also, it’s been six weeks, so now I’m wondering if I should just ask him about it?

Batman91

**To:** _Batman91_

**From:** _IHaveAlwaysBeenTheAlpha_

You’re quite right, that timing does seem worrisome. It’s true that werewolves can overindulge, but it certainly takes more than one cup of vanilla pudding to bother our stomachs. How did his pack respond to the episode?

P.S.: No matter what you do, don’t ask him about it – most werewolves are very sensitive about others figuring out they’re pregnant before they do (it’s a territory thing): at best your boyfriend’s feelings would be hurt and at worst he might respond rather violently.

**To:** _IHaveAlwaysBeenTheAlpha_

**From:** _Batman91_

Well, his grandmother got really worried and almost carried him to the couch so he could rest and then when I went to the kitchen to get some water his creepy uncle talked about how he was glowing, told me to rub his belly, and then patted me on the back like I’d just presented him with a major accomplishment. When I got back to the couch his little sister was all snuggled up against him and when I rubbed my boyfriend’s belly she like, I don’t know, looked like she was giving me her blessing? She’s 11, so I doubt she knew what she was doing, but it did seem like I’d passed some sort of test … and considering she wanted to feed me to the fishes as recently as four days ago that’s really freaking me out!

P.S: But how am I supposed to know for sure if I can’t ask? He hasn’t said anything yet and I’m getting really anxious over here!

**To:** _Batman91_

**From:** _IHaveAlwaysBeenTheAlpha_

The ‘creepy uncle’ – as you call him – seems to be the only one who’s figured it out yet, so I’d be more appreciative if I were you, given that his advice was actually quite helpful! Not all male werewolves who are expecting experience nausea, but if they do (by the way, that’s usually a sign that there’s more than one cub) a belly rub from their mate tends to sooth their stomachs temporarily. Did your boyfriend enjoy the attention?

 

**To:** _IHaveAlwaysBeenTheAlpha_

**From:** _Batman91_

He looked a lot better afterwards, yeah.

Holy shit, do you really think he’s pregnant?

**To:** _Batman91_

**From:** _IHaveAlwaysBeenTheAlpha_

It does seem like congratulations are in order, yes. Most werewolves don’t catch on to what is happening until the cub(s) heartbeat(s) starts beating loud enough for them to hear, which happens around the same time they start showing (from what you’ve said you’ll start to notice your boyfriend’s clothes fitting differently in about a week or so). Again, wait for him to figure it out!

I know it seems tough, but being sensitive to his needs is more important now! He will be more affected by the hormonal changes than a female were would, which is why he’ll need your emotional and physical support more than he’s ever needed you before! If you confront him about the cubs now he’ll feel like you don’t trust him to take care of your children. It’ll feel like he’s already failing them before they’re even born because a human figured it out before him. That’ll just feed into his insecurities, which will be heightened by the hormones _and_ the fact that this is so rare and there are so few people who can offer guidance, which, trust me, can be quite scary!

All the best and if you have more questions, feel free to contact me!

P.S: If he is in fact pregnant his nipples will soon start feeling very sore, so that’s another indicator for you. As I wrote in the forum, a nice massage with honey or maple syrup works wonders! Good luck!

P.P.S: Most local packs have an emissary, so if I were you I’d also contact him, as the one who would assist in the birth he might have some more information. Just tell him it’s for a research paper, so he won’t get suspicious.

 

 

Slowly, Stiles closed the lid of his laptop.

“Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck!”

 

====================

_Deaton_

“So, Alan …” Peter began, a dangerous smirk on his lips as his head emerged between Deaton’s spread legs and Alan groaned, giving Peter his most displeased glare as he adjusted his position on the steel exam table.

“I have about twenty minutes until my lunch break is over and I have to examine a poodle with diarrhea. Also, my intern’s hyper-active best friend wanted to stop by this afternoon, as you well know, which means that I have a long and tedious afternoon ahead of me, so if you wouldn’t quite mind getting on with it?”

“In a second … you still owe me an answer,” Peter grinned, trailing one finger along Deaton’s inner thigh as he blinked up at the emissary innocently.

“Fine!” Alan sighed, grabbing the large book that had been setting next to him and holding it up for Peter to see, “I’ll do it! I’m not sure what you’re planning and I get the feeling I’ll live happier not knowing, but you have to understand that this is completely unreliable information! The emissary who documented the case was a drunkard who once wrote an account of a shark attack that decimated almost half of his pack, so I wouldn’t trust anything he has to say!”

“Sounds plausible to me. I certainly wouldn’t know what to do if I met a great white in the middle of the ocean,” Peter mused and the emissary huffed, putting the book down with a resounding smack.

“They lived in West Texas! They didn’t even know what water was over there!” Alan argued, hissing when Peter’s claws dug into his skin.

“Ouch, damn it, be careful!” the emissary grunted, shaking his head when Peter straightened with a victorious smile, holding the offending item between two fingers.

“You know, you could just have Talia do it for you. Or my mother,” the werewolf grinned and Alan huffed, hopping down from the table and pulling up his pants with a surprising amount of dignity.

“It’s bad enough that you know about it, I’d rather not have the Alpha judge me as well,” he muttered and Peter laughed, eyes sparkling as he dropped the splinter in the trashcan.

“Oh I don’t know, I’m sure my sister would be delighted to know that her prim and proper emissary gets out to have some fun every now and then. Even if it usually ends with a scrotum-splinter that requires my werewolf-pain-leaching expertise,” he mused and Deaton shrugged, once more grabbing the book and flicking through the pages with a pained expression.

“Seriously though, are you absolutely sure you want me to give this book to the poor boy? Almost 90 percent of all the stories in here are borderline ridiculous. He might get the wrong idea.”

“Dear Stiles is researching for a paper on werewolf myths and I’m sure it would be helpful for him to take a look at the ones we actually started ourselves. He’s been really good to Derek and I really do feel that we owe him,” the werewolf answered and Deaton sighed, giving the book a last look of disdain before he set it on the counter.

“Alright. But if he end up breaking up with Derek because he believed that one story about male werewolves growing a knot to breed their partners that’s going to be on you!”

Peter snorted.

“It’s a responsibility I am willing to shoulder.”

 

====================

 

_Derek_

“This is the last time I let Peter get his filthy paws on my laundry! Ouch, damn it!”

Growling, Derek pulled his shirt away from his torso, peeking down his chest with an unhappy frown and glaring at Boyd when his best friend burst into laughter.

“Stop laughing, my nipples are _killing me_! This is not funny!”

“It kind of is, Derek, I’m sorry, it really is! But I’m also really sorry about your nipples.”

“Sorry my _ass_!” Derek hissed, though the vitriol in his voice was mostly targeted against his offending shirt.

Peter had volunteered to do laundry the night before and Derek had been foolish enough to let him, not even suspecting that anything might be amiss until he had been halfway to school and his chest had started to itch like crazy.

“You don’t _really_ think he put itching powder in there, do you? I mean, how hold is he, _five_?”

Erica sounded even more amused than Boyd and Derek glowered at her, trying and failing for the umpteeth time that morning not to scratch at his chest.

“I have no clue what he did but he must have done _something_! I almost crashed my car because I couldn’t stop scratching at my nipples! I mean, look at them! They’re all swollen and puffy! I’m meeting Stiles tonight and it’s the first time in like two weeks that we’re going to be alone at his place, I don’t need this!”

Angrily, Derek pulled up his shirt for demonstrative purposes and Erica let out a whistle, her head cocked to the side as she studied the offending body part.

“Wow! I thought I had it bad once a month, but mine don’t even get half as bad! Last month Boyd tried out this amazing massage technique though, maybe he can help you out? Or teach Stiles, if you’re more comfortable with that. Either way, I definitely want to watch!”

“I hate you! So much!” Derek said darkly, dropping his shirt and hissing when the fabric once more rubbed against his skin in all the wrong ways.

Erica chuckled, smacking a kiss on his cheek.

“Seriously – let Stiles massage them for you. If they’re only half as sensitive as they look your evening plans might not yet be ruined,” she advised and Boyd nodded seriously, mouthing, “Sorry Bro,” as he dragged his grinning girlfriend away.

Ten hours later Stiles had barely closed the door to his bedroom behind them when Derek’s shirt hit the floor and the werewolf sighed loudly, wondering if Stiles would freak out if he started crying from the sheer relief of being freed from the sensory torture he’d been subjected to for the better part of the day.

“Holy shi…” Stiles began, clamping his mouth shut and staring at him wide-eyed and Derek steeled himself before he looked down, letting out an embarrassed groan when he realized that his nipples were almost twice their usual size.

“Sorry. My shirt was …” he began, his mind once more conjuring up all the ways in which he could kill Peter later, but Stiles shushed him, looking almost frantic as he closed the distance between them, hands hovering over his pecs as he stared at Derek’s chest like he was seeing it for the first time.

“Don’t! Be sorry, that is, I mean, you have nothing to be sorry for, I mean, why would you even think you do, this is … are you feeling ok, are you in pain, do you need me to help?” Stiles rushed out and Derek grabbed his face, the discomfort in his chest momentarily forgotten at the acrid smell of panic wafting off of his boyfriend.

“This will help,” he said firmly, determined to make up for all the time they had lost during the busy week of midterms, and when he pressed their lips together Stiles seemed to deflate a little, his arms winding around Derek and holding him close.

Derek couldn’t quite stop himself from groaning against Stiles’ lips when his chest rubbed against Stiles’ shirt and Stiles pulled back immediately, his fingers tender when he traced the sore area.

“Do they hurt?” he asked, an undercurrent in his voice that Derek didn’t quite get, and Derek debated his answer briefly before nodding, finally deciding that Stiles wouldn’t believe his assurances anyways.

“A little. Not bad-bad, but they’ve been kind of driving me crazy all day,” he said, hissing when Stiles lightly brushed against them.

As Erica had predicted they were quite sensitive and when Stiles attempted to pull his hands away he pressed closer against him, his dick giving a more than an interested twitch at the idea of having Stiles’ lips and tongue wrapped around them.

For a moment Stiles seemed almost shocked but then his expression changed from startled to determined, his voice uncharacteristically nervous when he said, “I have an idea – lie down, I’ll be back in just a second!”

Curious, Derek complied, lying down on Stiles’ bed and propping up Stiles’ pillows behind his back, the cool breeze of the air conditioner almost heavenly against his abused skin.

He could hear Stiles muttering and banging around in the kitchen and when he returned Derek raised his eyebrows, more than a little confused at the rich smell of honey and maple syrup that came from the small pot Stiles was carrying like it was the Holy Grail.

“What’s that?” he asked, frowning, and Stiles smiled nervously, looking so unsure of himself all of a sudden that Derek promptly felt guilty.

“It’s … ah … it was just an idea. We don’t have to if you don’t want to, but I thought I could … well … uh … massage them and then …”

“Huh? Why … oh. _Oh_. Uh … sure? I mean, if you want to?” Derek said quickly, realization giving way to a mixture of nervousness and anticipation in light of this unforeseen adventure into the more kinky side of … things.

Stiles exhaled loudly, sounding relieved as he climbed on the bed and straddled Derek’s lap.

“I wasn’t sure whether to warm it up or not, so I hope this isn’t too cold,” Stiles mused and Derek placed both hands on Stiles’ thighs, squeezing lightly to reassure him when his boyfriend’s heartbeat once more became too quick for his liking.

“Cold is fine,” he said encouragingly, leaning back a little so Stiles had better access.

When Stiles began to gingerly massage his nipples Derek closed his eyes, cataloguing the sensations.

It was … sticky.

Incredibly sticky, in fact, and the sugary smell was a tiny bit too heavy on the side of rich for Derek’s taste, but he had always found Stiles’ sweet tooth rather adorable, so he decided not to tease him about it, concentrating instead on his boyfriend’s gentle ministrations.

He wasn’t quite sure whether food play was doing it for him, but the idea of Stiles wanting to experiment definitely was, his dick slowly hardening in his jeans when Stiles massaged his pectorals.

Derek knew that Stiles could feel him and the werewolf grinned when Stiles adjusted his position on his lap, deeply pleased to notice that his boyfriend’s nervousness had mostly given way to arousal.

“So beautiful. You’re so beautiful, Derek. So perfect,” Stiles whispered and Derek could feel his wolf preen inside him at the praise, not feeling even remotely ashamed when he bucked his hips, desperately needing more friction.

Stiles’ hands twitched against his chest, as if he had barely remembered how sticky they were, and Derek let out a soft groan when he unfastened his jeans himself, precome dripping from his shaft when Stiles massaged his chest with more vigor, the pressure a sweet relief against the nagging itch that had been bothering him all day.

“Need you … need more … please, Stiles!” he breathed and Stiles let out a soft moan, his tongue wetting his lips as he bent down, long eyelashes ghosting over Derek’s skin as he trailed kisses down his neck and collarbone.

“Please!” Derek gasped, aching with the need to feel Stiles’ mouth on him, his back arched as he closed his eyes, almost overwhelmed with anticipation as he pushed his chest against Stiles’ face.

There was a sharp inhale and then Stiles pulled back, the scent of his arousal abruptly replaced with … guilt? Anxiety? Mortification? Whatever it was, Derek didn’t like it at all and he let out a sound of protest, opening his eyes and propping himself up on his elbows, his own arousal diminishing significantly when he noticed the miserable look on Stiles’ face.

“Stiles?” he asked, worried, and Stiles bit his lip, staring at Derek’s chest with an expression of want and despair.

“I’m sorry … I thought I …” he began, hands waving helplessly, and Derek sat up quickly, grabbing Stiles’ arms to stop them from fidgeting.

“I understand. I don’t want you to get ill from all that sugar, you don’t have to lick it up, we can use a washcloth,” he said quickly and Stiles let out a sound of frustration, looking upset with himself.

“But I wanted to do something nice for you! Fuck, I really thought I could …”

“It’s ok! Really! Let’s just do something else,” Derek reassured him, noting with dismay that his erection was barely at half-mast now, the scent of Stiles’ distress more than a mood-killer.

“Shit!” Stiles muttered, hopping up from the bed to get the washcloth.

“Come here!” Derek said when Stiles had cleaned the sticky mess from his chest, wrapping his arms around the human when Stiles attempted to get up once more.

“I want to try all these things with you. And if it gets too weird we can always stop, I promise I won’t get mad. I love you,” he said earnestly, smiling in what he hoped was a reassuring manner.

He wasn’t about to win the Communication Wolf Award anytime soon, he knew that, but if the awkwardness of their first time – and the mortifying talk he had had with his parents the next day – had taught him anything, it was that one needed to talk about the sex stuff.

Stiles had never been shy about talking about the sex stuff, so Derek didn’t quite get why he was acting so weird now, his heart pounding in his chest when he placed kisses all over Stiles’ face, desperate to reassure him that they were ok.

“I love you, too. Like, a lot. You know that, right?” Stiles asked quietly and Derek nodded quickly, lying down so Stiles could spoon him from behind, his instincts telling him that it was the right thing to do.

Stiles kissed his neck softly before wrapping his arm around Derek’s waist, his palm pressed against Derek’s belly.

Relaxing, Derek placed his own hand on top of Stiles’, figuring that his boyfriend needed more reassurances, and when Stiles’ heartbeat once more skyrocketed behind him he wiggled his butt experimentally, a bit surprised at the lack of erection that normally accompanied such a spike in his boyfriend’s pulse.

“Love you. So much,” Stiles whispered, his fingers tracing gentle circles into Derek’s skin, and Derek smiled contentedly, allowing the gentle touches to lull him to sleep.

 

=================

_HumanMate.Com Forum_

**To:** _IHaveAlwaysBeenTheAlpha_

**From:** _Batman91_

Do male werewolves lactate?

 

**To:** _Batman91_

**From:** _IHaveAlwaysBeenTheAlpha_

Uh … duh? How else are they supposed to feed their babies? Why do you ask?

 

**To:** _IHaveAlwaysBeenTheAlpha_

**From:** _Batman91_

Figured as much. Wish I’d have thought of that earlier.

 

**To:** _Batman91_

**From:** _IHaveAlwaysBeenTheAlpha_

?

**To:** _IHaveAlwaysBeenTheAlpha_

**From:** _Batman91_

Let’s just say that colorful visions of ‘the land of milk and honey’ became a bit too literal for my taste a couple of hours ago.

 

**To:** _Batman91_

**From:** _IHaveAlwaysBeenTheAlpha_

Oh. I completely understand.

 

===================

_Derek_

“Damn it Peter, open up! What the hell did you do to my laundry? For fuck’s sake, this isn’t funny, what did you do? Come on, stop hogging the bathroom, I really need to take a shower, I’m super sticky and … _why the hell are you laughing like a crazy person_? MOM!”

 

====================

_Stiles_

“So … have you ever watched _16 And Pregnant_?”

“You know that talk you gave me? The one about the birds and bees? It turns out there’s a section about phoenixes that we _really_ should have covered!”

“Remember when I realized that werewolves couldn’t give you STDs and I was all, “Yay for saving on condoms!” and you were all, “It’s your choice, Son, but I’d feel better about it if you _did_ invest in protection?” in that super-judgmental tone? Ready to say I told you so?”

“What are your thoughts on grandchildren? In the immediate future? Like, very immediate future?”

“Dad … you’re going to be a grandfather. Possibly of a litter. Please don’t kill me.”

“I’m going to be a father.”

Stiles stared at his reflection, hands gripping the sink so hard his knuckles were almost white as he let out a shaky breath, feeling nauseous, terrified, confused, and – he knew it was the insanity of the situation talking, but he couldn’t quite help it – excited all at the same time.

He had tried to rationalize the truth away for almost a month now, finding excuses for the tiredness, the headaches, even the nausea, but there was simply no more way around it.

Derek was pregnant.

He had gotten his boyfriend pregnant and even though Derek still seemed to be unaware of it there was no longer any doubt in Stiles’ mind, the signs too clear to ignore any longer, even without the assistance of the book he had gotten from Alan Deaton.

He wasn’t ready for this.

Hell, until three and a half weeks ago he hadn’t even thought about having children one day, but now, faced with the inevitable reality of it, all he knew was that he wanted Derek, wanted everything that Derek could give him and more, and if what Derek was giving him was a baby – or a litter, according to _IHaveAlwaysBeenTheAlpha’_ s warnings about Derek’s morning sickness – then Stiles was going to suck it up and be grateful.

Eventually.

Provided his father wasn’t going to kill him first.

Sure, he had always figured that if one of them would become a dad in high school it would be Scott, considering the whole uterus-aspect of their respective love-lives, but since his own apparently included a mystical male uterus, henceforth known as _muterus_ – Stiles was going to patent that word and put his earnings into the kid’s/litter’s college fund because he was responsible like that – it was time to re-think things.

“I’m going to be a daddy,” Stiles whispered, the words heavy on his tongue, and it was fucking terrifying, yeah, but it also took his breath away.

Mostly for panic attack reasons, sure, but also because of Derek-reasons, specifically, the thought of a little being that he had made with Derek, a tiny baby – or litter, because Stiles was nothing but a realist and it was all but certainly going to be a litter of epic proportions because this was his life – that would now and forever prove to the world just how fucking much he loved his infuriatingly handsome, kind, perfect, and shockingly muterus-possessing werewolf.

Stiles wasn’t ready for this.

However, he was pretty sure he wouldn’t have been ready for this ten years from now, or even twenty, so he was just going to own being a teenage dad and love the shit out of his Baby-Daddy.

Baby-Mommy.

Muterus-Wolf.

As soon as said muterus-wolf finally got the hint, that was.

Preferably _before_ Stiles went completely insane.

And if he survived telling his dad.

And Derek’s mother.

And … Derek’s grandmother.

“Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Up: Stiles discovers the final 'proof' and tries to get Derek to realize what's going on before he ends up blurting it out and - heeding IHaveAlwaysBeenTheAlpha's warnings - hurting Derek's feelings. A somewhat confused Derek doesn't have any strong feelings about names (and thinks Stiles wants to get a puppy). Peter's scheme is revealed. 
> 
>  
> 
> Final chapter will be up by Sunday evening Central Europe time :). As always, thanks for reading my lovelies!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, commenting and kudosing my Lovelies, I truly appreciate each and every one!

_Stiles_

Grave miscalculations regarding the need for wearing a condom while having sex with one’s STD-Repellant-But-Receptive boyfriend aside, Stiles had always been an excellent researcher, a skill that went back all the way to his very dedicated attempts to discover what would happen if one cut a hole into a sock … and the repeating the experiment ten times just to make sure.

His father, many years away from his comfortable Sheriff salary, had stared at his ruined pairs of socks with a very heavy sigh, but his mother had been sympathetic to Stiles’ scientific curiosity, hearing him out, praising him for his creativity, and proudly ruffling his hair before putting him in time-out for taking the scissors from the kitchen without permission.

Stiles always missed his mother, but as he stared at his meticulously researched “(What) To Do (After Doing Derek)”-List Stiles missed her even more than usual.

Granted, she probably wouldn’t have been all too thrilled with him either, but Stiles’ mother had been a midwife specializing in home-births before her death, which would have made her an invaluable source of information.

Stiles was reasonably sure the Hales were going to push for a home birth – or forest birth, possibly – and the image of his mother literally fighting Deaton off with a baseball bat to be the one to deliver her grand-litter was both amusing and painful, making him yearn for her support.

As it was, he only had the Internet, the _HumanMate.com_ forum, and the very judgmental moms from the commenting section on the _People_ magazine website to guide him, which was why the list was still very much in its early development stages.

****

** (What) To Do (After Doing Derek) **

\- Buy pre-natal vitamins

\- Avoid being seen while buying pre-natal vitamins

\- Figure out way to slip Derek pre-natal vitamins

\- Confirm pregnancy

\- Survive combined Hale and Stilinski Sr. Tornado-of-Parental-Disappointment after confirmation of pregnancy

\- Figure out names for the litter

\- Make a birth-plan

\- Freak out while making a birth-plan

\- Grovel at Derek’s (possibly) swollen feet after freaking out while making a birth-plan

\- Get a job to support the litter

\- ~~Apply for college~~

 

Sighing, Stiles stared at the last point, his eyes fixed on the little hole he had punched into the paper in his hastiness to cross it out.

He knew it wasn’t impossible and he was reasonably sure that his grades would get him a couple of decent scholarships, but the reality of going to college and supporting a child – or multiple children – was going to be difficult, especially if _both_ parents wanted to pursue their education.

In a way Stiles was almost glad that Derek hadn’t realized his condition yet, giving him just a little more time to present a plan of action to the Hales and his father that would – hopefully – diminish their combined urges to castrate him and/or feed him to the fishes (Stiles was reasonably sure that Cora’s newfound grudging respect for him would evaporate in an instant once she found out he’d knocked up her big brother).

In the meantime, Stiles was determined to focus on the things he actually _could_ do something about even without his painfully oblivious boyfriend being in-the-know.

A trip to the store two towns over was definitely in order.

===================

 

“Orange, maybe? Could be cherry, too? Where did you get those again?”

Derek chewed methodically, face scrunched up in confusion, and Stiles internally fist-pumped himself for his decision to get the gummy bear pre-natal vitamins, allowing him to feed them to Derek under the guise of trying to figure out the flavor.

“Oh, I just saw them at the store a while back. Lost the packaging though, so I wasn’t sure what they taste like, exactly. Do you like them?”

“They’re alright, I guess,” Derek replied, swallowing, and Stiles immediately held out another handful of the gummy bears for him, figuring that it was about time they made up for the time that had already been lost.

Derek raised his eyebrows but he accepted the bears nevertheless and Stiles let out the breath he’d been holding, crawling on the bed and snuggling against the werewolf, his cheek resting against Derek’s chest, staying clear of his nipples, just in case, his hand casually – or at least Stiles hoped it seemed casual – rubbing Derek’s abdomen.

According to the forum Derek was supposed to start showing any day now and Stiles equally dreaded and longed to see the final proof, terrified of Derek’s reaction on the one hand and desperate to finally stifle the last sliver of doubt that this could all turn out to be a misunderstanding on the other, wondering when exactly “Don’t let this be true!” had turned into “I’m not sure what I’ll do if it’s not.”

“You ok? You’re zoning,” Derek said, fingers idly playing with Stiles’ hair and Stiles shrugged, telling himself to focus as he raised his head just enough to be able to make eye-contact with Derek.

The werewolf looked a bit sleepy but content and Stiles smiled fondly, fingers flexing on Derek’s abdomen as he thought about the likely reason for the werewolf’s sleepiness.

“What are you thinking about?” Derek asked and Stiles chuckled in grim amusement, imagining for just a moment what Derek would have to say if he actually told him just what he was constantly thinking about these days.

Sadly, he was currently cuddling up to a walking-talking lie detector and so Stiles decided to go with an abridged version of the truth, hoping that Derek wouldn’t get suspicious.

“I was thinking about names.”

Derek’s eyebrow rose suspiciously.

“Names?”

“Yeah. Names. You know. Boy names. Girl names. All kinds of names, really,” he said quickly, wincing when Derek’s second eyebrow joined the first.

“Why are you thinking about names?” he asked and Stiles could literally feel his heart speeding up, brain running frantically as he tried to come up with a good reason.

“Uhm … because … I … think it’s good to think about names in case one ever needs to … uh … name something?” he replied and Derek cocked his head questioningly, his confused expression suddenly giving way to fond amusement.

“You _do_ know that Cora was joking when she said she’d like you even more if you got her a puppy, right?” he asked and Stiles breathed out sharply, thanking the deities for Cora Hale’s conveniently voiced intimidation tactics.

“Well, yeah, I mean, I’m pretty sure your mom would like me a lot less if I got Cora the puppy she has apparently been denied her entire existence” _Or if, you know, she found out that I knocked up her only son in high school_ “so of course I’m not going to get her a puppy. Can’t hurt to think of a name though. Just in case.”

“Laura and I were denied, too, but in my mom’s defense she did have a point. Not every dog can adapt to living in a house with an Alpha werewolf,” Derek said, sounding just a bit regretful.

“So you wanted a puppy, too?” Stiles asked and Derek chuckled, nodding with a grin.

“Oh yeah. I was going to name him Scooby-Doo. Well, until I watched the werewolf episode where the werewolf was all green and turned out to be a criminal that was.”

“Really?” Stiles asked, smiling, and Derek’s grin widened.

“I was rather offended, actually, especially when Laura told me that I would probably grow up to look exactly like him. I cried and Laura got in trouble.”

Stiles chuckled, images of a baby-sized Derek pouting filling his head as he gently stroked Derek’s belly, wondering if their baby – or litter – would take after Derek or after him.

“And now?” he asked, adding, “What would you name a … uh … a puppy now? Not that I want to get a puppy right this minute, but at some point I’m pretty sure that topic might come up,” when Derek made a questioning sound.

“Khaleesi,” Derek said promptly and Stiles grimaced, propping himself up on one elbow and raising his eyebrows at Derek.

“ _Game of Thrones_? Really?”

“Why not? It’s a pretty name, isn’t it?”

“Well, yeah … but wouldn’t you rather use something a bit less … fictional?”

“Like what, Mildred? Who ever named their dog Mildred?”

“What? No! I meant more like … uh … like Claudia. Or something.”

When Derek’s hand stilled against his hair Stiles held his breath, replaying his last words, and it seemed like forever until Derek gently grasped his chin to tilt up his head, his hazel eyes bearing into Stiles’ earnestly.

“You want to name our puppy after your mom?” he asked and Stiles exhaled, a blush creeping up his cheeks when he muttered, “Or something,” decidedly not looking at Derek.

“Stiles,” Derek said softly, and when Stiles looked at him once more he could tell that Derek was concerned, wondering just what kind of chem signals he was currently giving out.

“We can name our puppy Claudia if you really want to. But … if you wanted to save that name for another occasion that would be fine, too! I mean … uh …” Derek trailed off, his cheeks burning brightly as he looked at Stiles nervously, obviously surprised at his own words.

For a moment Stiles thought his heart was going to explode, wondering if Derek had _finally_ caught on to what was happening, but when boyfriend started looking confused again he sighed internally, chastising himself for figuring it would be this easy.

Still, Derek’s words had carried a meaning that was not lost on Stiles and he smiled, whispering, “I love you,” and diving up to kiss Derek breathless.

When the werewolf’s arms wound around him Stiles, for the first time in over three weeks, felt oddly at peace.

 

==================

_Derek_

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me! _Mom_!”

Derek was done with the world.

Just … done.

He was still bunking with his sleep-pattern-ruining uncle, his boyfriend was clearly worrying about something – and refusing to tell Derek about it, which was starting to trigger all of his inherently protective werewolf provider instincts in all the wrong ways – and now his mother had decided to do laundry on date-night, meaning that all of his nicer shirts were currently in the washing machine, and the only Henley that was even remotely acceptable for a date with his boyfriend … no longer fit.

“Mom!” Derek yelled again, staring at his reflection in increasing desperation, and when his mother poked her head inside his room he whirled towards her, feeling horribly betrayed by the universe.

“What did you do to my shirt?”

“What’s wrong with your shirt, little Bear?” his mother asked, grinning, and Derek was not proud of the sound he made in response, fingers tugging at the skin-tight fabric helplessly.

“Look at this! It’s like two sizes too small, I look ridiculous, what happened to my shirt?”

“Oh dear, it does look a bit tight. Your uncle was doing laundry two days ago, maybe he put it in the dryer by mistake?”

“ _Peter_!” Derek roared, wincing guiltily when his mother glared at him and a second later Peter appeared next to his older sister, looking incredibly amused.

“You called, Nephew Dearest?”

“What the hell did you do to my shirt? First the itching powder, now this? What the fuck is going on here, why are you …”

“Language!” his grandmother chastised him, appearing behind Talia and cocking her head to the side as she looked at Derek.

Derek huffed, waving his hands at his empty drawer accusatorily.

“What am I supposed to wear, my basketball uniform? For some reason _all_ my shirts are in the wash and this one looks like it’s two sizes too small!”

“That reminds me, I was going to tell you, I spilled some Dr Pepper all over your drawer earlier. Luckily that one shirt survived, right?” Peter grinned, his head hastily disappearing from the doorframe when Derek lunged at him.

“Derek!” his mother commanded, the Alpha clear in her voice, and Derek stopped immediately, baring his neck in apology.

“It _is_ a bit tight, yes, but I doubt Stiles will mind. Just wear your leather jacket over it, you’ll be fine. And besides, knowing the two of you the shirts are going to come off within the first five minutes of the date anyways, so I don’t see the reason for all this fussing,” his grandmother said wisely and Derek groaned, partly in embarrassment and partly because of the uncomfortable way the shirt stretched across his chest.

He could feel the fabric digging into his skin with every movement, riding up his belly with every other step, and when Stiles’ jeep pulled up in front of the house Derek was wearing his jacket closed, hopeful that the shirts would indeed come off before Stiles noticed his unflattering attire.

It was a warm early fall night, much warmer than usual this time of year, and by the time they sat down on the hilltop overlooking Beacon Hills Derek was sweating, the shirt digging into him in all the wrong places.

“Are you ok?” Stiles asked, looking worried, and Derek sighed, looking around quickly to make sure they were indeed alone before he ripped open his jacket and tossed it on the grass, letting out a sigh of relief when the air hit his overheated skin.

“Yes Stiles, I’m fine. I just … alright, what is it _now_?”

Stiles was staring at him like he’d never seen him before, eyes wider than a startled doe, and Derek followed his gaze, eyebrows rising when he looked down at his abdomen.

The shirt had once more ridden up, digging into his skin and revealing the fuzzy skin of his lower belly, pushed forward ever so slightly by the uncomfortably tight hemline and Derek tugged it down a bit more aggressively than he had been going for, wincing when he could hear the fabric tear at his back.

“Stiles?” Derek asked when the silence stretched into more-than-awkward territory, waving his hands in front of Stiles’ face and Stiles startled, muttered, “I think I forgot something in the jeep!” and scrambled off, leaving a very confused – and alarmed – Derek in his wake.

It took almost five minutes for Stiles to return and Derek was just about ready to go after him and demand an explanation when his boyfriend got out of the jeep, staring at his cell phone as he walked back to Derek.

“What did you forget?” Derek asked, frowning when Stiles muttered, “Huh? Nothing,” his eyes once more fixed on Derek’s ill-fitting shirt.

Derek frowned, clearly able to hear the lie in Stiles’ heartbeat.

“Are you sure?” he asked, a bit more aggressively than he had been going for and feeling guilty almost immediately, but Stiles had been acting and smelling weird for weeks now and Derek was just about to reach the point where his insecurities were about to get the better of him.

“Totally sure,” Stiles lied, seemingly realizing his mistake and wincing when Derek could feel his own expression morphing from exasperation into hurt.

“I … oh fuck it! Damn it, Derek, why can’t you just …”

“Why can’t I what?” Derek snapped, frustrated, and Stiles sighed, his expression tense when he turned his head away.

“Nothing. Forget it. Hey, look, there’s a squirrel, let’s look at …”

“Are you having second thoughts? About us? Is this all going too fast?” Derek interrupted him, no longer able to keep his own anxieties to himself, and Stiles gaped at him, looking shocked.

“ _What_? Why would you even think that?” he meeped and Derek shrugged helplessly, not even sure how to voice what he was feeling.

“You’ve been so _weird_ lately, what was I supposed to think! One minute you look at me like I’m carrying some disease and you barely even touch me, the other you’re all over me, looking at me like … like … hell, I don’t even know! Your smell’s been off for weeks now and whenever I ask what’s wrong you keep giving me evasive answers that are not quite lies but sure as hell not the truth either! I’m starting to feel like you’re hiding something from me and I don’t understand why? Unless … Stiles, do you want to break up with me?”

Stiles’ shocked expression promptly morphed into righteous indignation, his voice determined as he once more grabbed Derek’s face.

“Oh my god, no! Not in a million years! Wait, do you really think I could … that I would ever … especially now that you’re …”

Stiles took a deep breath, shaking his head, and when he spoke again he sounded a lot calmer, thumbs gently caressing Derek’s cheekbones.

“Listen to me you big dum-dum! I love you! That’s not a lie and if you think it is you better go see the werewolf ear doctor, because that’s really the last thing I would ever lie about at this point!”

He took a deep breath, shoulders dropping as he looked at Derek with a tired expression.

“I’m sorry if I’ve been acting weird, I never wanted you to feel bad, I just … this is big, ok? It’s really fucking big and, truth be told, it’s also really, _really_ fucking scary, but trust me Derek, you are not getting rid of me this easily! I love you and I’m not going to be one of these dead-beat fuckers, I was raised better than that!” he declared and Derek stared at him in confusion, not quite sure what Stiles meant but relief flooding through him at the steadiness of his boyfriend’s heartbeat.

“Can’t you just tell me what’s wrong? There’s got to be a reason for why you keep smelling like you’re about to have a panic attack!” Derek said urgently, wrapping his arms around Stiles and pulling him closer, burrowing his nose against Stiles’ neck when the human’s arms dropped down to wrap around his waist.

Stiles sighed heavily.

“I want to. I really, _really_ want to, but I can’t. Not now, anyways. Soon, I promise I’ll tell you all about it soon, but I just can’t for now.”

Derek barley resisted the urge to growl, wanting nothing more than to figure out what was bothering Stiles and hurt whoever was responsible.

“Is someone threatening you? About being with me?” he asked and Stiles immediately shook his head, eyes flashing with indignation.

“What? Hell no! Besides, if someone was threatening me about us my dad would have been the first to run them out of town, trust me on that one!”

“But it has to do with me?” Derek pressed, heart sinking when Stiles let out a huge sigh and nodded.

“Yeah. It’s nothing bad though, it’s just … just … I just can’t talk about it right now. You have to trust me on that one, Derek. Please.”

Stiles looked like he was ready to start crying any second now and Derek flinched, feeling terrible about pushing his boyfriend.

He nodded quickly and Stiles pulled him closer once more, nuzzling into the crook of his neck before he kissed him, hands pressing against Derek’s abdomen and letting out a shuddering breath.

“Can you lie back?” Stiles whispered when they broke apart and Derek complied, still feeling a bit whip-lashed from the emotional rollercoaster of his evening but needing to be as close to Stiles as possible, wanting to assure him that whatever was wrong he would be there for him.

He let out a surprised exhale when, instead of his belt-buckle, Stiles went for the hopelessly too tight shirt, pushing it up further and exposing his abdomen.

When his boyfriend began to place soft kisses all along his sensitive skin Derek relaxed, closing his eyes and focusing on the sensations of Stiles’ lips all over him, the way his fingers were gently stroking his sides, his touch almost more worshiping than erotic.

“I love you. So much,” Stiles muttered, lips pressed against his lower belly, sounding like he’d never meant anything more, and Derek believed him.

He just wished he could fix whatever was wrong.

 

===================

_HumanMate.Com Forum_

**From:** _Batman91_

**To:** _IHaveAlwaysBeenTheAlpha_

My boyfriend just started showing but he’s still not told me about the cubs! What the hell do I do now?

Sent from My Iphone

**From:** _IHaveAlwaysBeenTheAlpha_

**To:** _Batman91_

Worship his belly – like seriously, worship the shit out of it! He’s probably hours away from hearing the cubs’ heartbeat for the first time and the more cherished and loved he feels the better … it’ll be quite the shock!

 

=======================

_Stiles_

It was official – Stiles was going to enter Derek into the “Most Oblivious Werewolf in the History of Ever” competition, watch him win the gold medal, and applaud him as he waddled across the stage to accept it, possibly going into labor in the middle of the stage and going “Huh?”, because Stiles was legitimately wondering if whoever had spread that rumor that werewolves were more attuned with their bodies than humans had been seriously full of it.

It had been five days since their almost-fight on the hill and Derek, as far as Stiles could tell, still had no idea what was going on, even though, now that he was actually showing, he should have been hearing the cubs’ heartbeats for days already.

Well … temporarily showing, Stiles had to admit, considering he hadn’t quite been able to make out the gentle rounding in his boyfriend’s belly that had been so noticeable during their date since, but – according to his mother’s old copy of _What to Expect When You’re Expecting_ that he had found in the attic with his old baby clothes - it was apparently normal for a pregnant stomach to change shape and size randomly at the beginning, sometimes looking very pregnant and other times not looking pregnant at all.

Well, normal for a woman, at least, but Stiles was willing to bet that with their bodies’ natural ability to shift shapes and sizes at will a pregnant werewolf belly was even more unpredictable.

Belly-shape aside, however, Derek was more than overdue to finally realize what was going on and Stiles was about to go stir-crazy with the necessity to keep it a secret, seriously tempted to just ignore _IHaveAlwaysBeenTheAlpha_ ’s warnings about how badly Derek would be hurt if Stiles figured it out before him.

Not that he hadn’t already hurt him plenty and Stiles was going to rot in the special place in hell for horrible parents and even more horrible mates for having successfully managed to make his pregnant boyfriend feel insecure about their entire relationship.

Break up with Derek?

Not likely.

Leave Derek to raise their litter on their own?

_Definitely_ not happening, and Stiles was determined to prove it.

In the meantime – and with the helpful advice of his forum buddy – he had decided to establish a connection to his cubs, using every opportunity possible to get his hands on Derek’s belly.

He could tell that his boyfriend was a bit confused about the frequent caresses to a body part that Stiles had heretofore appreciated but largely ignored in favor of Derek’s more southern located assets, but so far he seemed to be enjoying it, his head dropping back every now and then and resting on Stiles’ shoulder when he started rubbing lazy circles into the taut skin.

“So I’ve been thinking,” Derek said hesitantly during their Friday lunch break, lounging between Stiles’ spread legs as they cuddled on one of the outside benches, his head once more resting against the human’s shoulder as Stiles carefully massaged away, “Since Cora’s decided she no longer wants you to sleep with the fishes I thought maybe you’d like to go on a full moon run with us?”

“Full moon run? What would that be like? Also, do you mind if I use some of Erica’s lotion? Your skin’s a bit dry, I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Uh … sure, if you want to? But yeah, basically we all go outside as soon as the moon rises and start running. You don’t have to worry about keeping up, Boyd and Erica have run with us before, we’re used to accommodating humans.”

Stiles cocked his head, considering, a smile forming on his lips when Derek let out a soft little moan when he massaged a particularly tense feeling spot.

“Sounds really cool. Wait, you wouldn’t all be naked, would you? I mean, you guys can get naked, obviously, but I’m not sure I’d feel comfortable flashing my goods to your baby-sister.”

“My grandmother and my mother are the only ones who can even manage the full shift, so no, nobody would be naked. Does that mean you’ll come with us?”

Derek sounded hopeful so Stiles nodded quickly and kissed the shell of his ear, both hands cupping Derek’s belly protectively.

“I’d love to. If you’re sure that’s going to be … uh … safe?,” he asked and Derek snorted, muttering, “Trust me, between my mother and grandmother we’ll be as safe as we can possibly get.”

Stiles sighed, having almost gotten used to the feeling of dread that overcame him every time Derek mentioned his mother or grandmother these days.

“Well … It’s a date then.”

 

=================

 

_Derek_

Derek was thrumming with energy as he waited for Stiles on the front porch, partly because of the pull of the full moon and partly because of joy that his boyfriend would take part in a tradition that was so important to the Hale wolves, wanting nothing more than for Stiles to feel comfortable with all aspects of their lives.

He was also deeply relieved that they seemed to have made it over the first rough patch of their relationship, even if he still didn’t quite understand how they had gotten to that place.

Laura could gag all she wanted but Derek wasn’t feeling even the slightest bit ashamed for having soaked up his boyfriend’s attention in the past days, especially not after worrying that he might actually end up losing him not even a week before.

“You smell like Erica. Did you use her perfume? You can’t use her perfume, she said only I’m allowed to! When is she going to come play with me again?”

Cora tapped against his arm, looking up at him curiously, and Derek pulled up his shirt a little, turning towards her as he pointed at his belly.

“Stiles decided to use Erica’s lotion to give me a massage today. I didn’t use her perfume, I promise,” he said, shaking his head fondly when Cora pushed her nose against his side to investigate.

“Are you _sure_? It smells like her perfume!” she said critically and Derek shrugged, momentarily distracted by the arrival of his boyfriend’s jeep.

When Stiles got out of the car he paused for a moment, staring at Cora and Derek with a strange expression before he broke into a wide smile and Derek smiled back, gently tapping against Cora’s head to tell her to stop sniffing him.

“Hey you,” Stiles said when he ascended the stairs and Derek kissed him deeply in greeting, the wolf whining for more intimacy just beneath his skin.

“Stiles! How lovely of you to join us this evening, Derek was really excited that you said yes!”

“There’s excitement there, all right, but I’m not a hundred percent sure whether it has to do with the full moon or a different kind of mooning … _ow!_ Mom, why do you even know what that is?”

Greta Hale raised her eyebrows at Peter in a decidedly ‘Duh’ fashion and Derek groaned, turning towards his intimacy-ruining family with a pleading expression.

“I think we’re interrupting. Ah, I remember those first full moon runs with your father, it was always such a thrill ride!” Derek’s grandmother beamed and Derek could feel Stiles shake with suppressed laughter at the pained expression on Peter’s face, wholeheartedly sharing his boyfriend’s sentiment.

Half an hour later they were running through the forest, all of them in their Beta shift with Stiles in their midst and Derek was keeping his ears attuned to Stiles’ heartbeat, ready to slow down his family as soon as his human boyfriend showed signs of distress.

He was doing fine so far, however, and Derek grinned proudly, the wolf inside him preening over having chosen such a great mate, even if he was a bit of an over-protective mother-hen.

Apparently it wasn’t only his inside wolf who was preening, Derek realized when Laura made a gagging noise beside him, her expression playful when she bumped her shoulder against his, and Derek bumped back, smirking at his big sister in challenge.

Never one to back down from a play-fight Laura pounced, letting out a gleeful howl as she tackled Derek into the grass and Derek let out an involuntary gasp, not having expected her to throw him on the ground so quickly.

He was about to throw her off when an unfamiliar roar sounded through the trees and a moment later Laura was no longer pinning him to the ground, a startled yelp escaping her throat as she stared up at a fuming Stiles, looking as flabbergasted as Derek felt.

“Stiles? What are you doing?” he exclaimed, all too aware of his entire family having frozen behind him, and when Stiles’ head whipped towards him he could once more detect the acrid smell of panic that he had grown to detest.

“Stiles?” he tried again, but Stiles shook his head, eyes blazing with anger.

“Nope! I’m not going to let this happen!”

 

==================

_Stiles_

“Nope! I’m not going to let this happen! No way, no, this has gone on long enough! I’m sorry Derek, I truly am, I know I’m not supposed to say anything, but I’m not going to just stand by and watch you get hurt!”

“I’m not hurt, Stiles!” Derek said quickly, looking a little helpless as he gestured at himself but Stiles wasn’t having it, his boyfriend’s pained gasp still ringing in his ears.

“I would never hurt my brother! If you don’t let me go I’ll throw you off … and I won’t be nice about it!” Laura snapped beneath him and Stiles let out a sharp exhale, his angry expression turning into shock as he came back to his senses and truly realized the position they were in.

“Stiles, please let Laura go,” Derek’s mother said firmly, enough Alpha in her voice to affect even a human, and Stiles rubbed his hands over his face, feeling more dismayed by the second.

He got up quickly, weighing the chances of Laura biting his fingers off as he slowly extended his hand towards her in apology and Laura grabbed him firmly, her claws digging into his skin as she let him pull her off the ground.

“You know, it’s nice that you’re trying to fit in and all, but that territory bullshit really doesn’t suit you,” Laura huffed, looking towards her mother when the Alpha made a shushing sound.

“Stiles,” Talia said, stepping forward and holding his gaze and for the first time since he’d met her Stiles recognized her for every part the predator that she was, the softest glow of red shimmering in her eyes and the wolf clearly coiling beneath the surface.

“I need to understand why you just tried to challenge my daughter. Tell me what you were thinking, Stiles,” she said calmly, giving him an encouraging nod, and Stiles let out a helpless sound, looking towards Derek desperately, as if he could will the werewolf to finally realize just why he’d needed protecting with the power of his mind alone.

“Stiles, please,” Derek begged, all traces of the earlier excitement gone from his face and replaced with something that equaled devastation and Stiles … was done.

Just … done.

“I didn’t try to challenge her, I just tried to protect our babies!”

The silence following his outburst was so heavy that Stiles almost felt like it was ramming him into the ground, which, all in all, seemed a preferable course of action, wanting nothing more than to escape the situation as every member of the Hale family stared at him.

“The … babies?” Derek’s father finally asked, his eyebrows rising in a way that reminded him of Derek and Stiles nodded, figuring he would bear the brunt of Derek’s anger if it meant he’d finally take care of himself the way he needed to.

“What babies?” Talia asked in a soothing voice, looking at him like one would at a hallucinating fever patient.

“Babies? What are you talking about Stiles, dear?” Greta Hale asked and next to her Cora tugged at her sleeve, whispering, “Did he hit his head, Nana?” as she stared at Stiles curiously.

“Stiles?” Derek asked again, wide-eyed, and Stiles let out a deeply pained sound of frustration, whirling towards his boyfriend and advancing towards him, placing both of his hands on Derek’s abdomen for emphasis.

“Our babies! Our cubs! Hell, our litter … whatever you want to call them! Not important! What’s important is that you need to be more careful! You can’t just let Laura freaking _attack_ you while you’re in this condition! I might not be a werewolf, but I can protect our litter just as you can and I’ll be damned if I …”

“What the hell are you even talking about? _Litter_? Wait, what condition do you think I am in?” Derek interrupted him, staring down at Stiles’ hands with a shocked expression and Stiles barely resisted the urge to growl.

“You’re pregnant!” he exclaimed, lightly pushing against Derek’s stomach for emphasis and glaring up at his boyfriend, willing him to come to his senses already.

“I’m … _what_?” Derek gasped in what Stiles assumed was shock and he nodded vigorously, rubbing Derek’s belly in earnest now as the words spilled out of him.

“Yes! You’re pregnant!” he repeated, frowning when Derek slowly shook his head, looking at him like he’d just grown a second head.

“Stiles … I can’t be pregnant. I’m a guy!” he exclaimed, sounding flabbergasted as he looked back and forth between Stiles’ hands on his belly and Stiles determined expression.

Stiles huffed.

“Yeah, I _know_! You’re still pregnant though, the signs are unmistakable and ...”

“Signs? What signs?” Derek interrupted him, looking horribly confused and a bit like he was expecting Stiles to tear off his clothes, declare himself to be a chicken, and dance the Macarena any second now.

“Headaches! First it was headaches, then you had morning sickness, which, by the way, means we’re probably expecting a litter, just so you know! Then your nipples got all cracked and sore and when your clothes no longer fit I …”

“ _Morning sickness?_ But …” Derek began, trailing off and staring past Stiles with a shocked expression.

For a moment Stiles wasn’t sure what was going on, his blood rushing through his ears so loudly that he was barely able to concentrate.

A second later he realized that the silence in the clearing had been replaced with the sound of a wildly laughing hyena.

A hyena named Peter, Stiles thought dumbly as he got a good look at Derek’s uncle, who was bent over with laughter.

“But … you had morning sickness!” he repeated, whirling back towards Derek, whose expression had turned from horrified confusion into plain horror.

“When we ate dinner at your place that one night and you came back from outside looking ready to puke all over the place! And then your nipples were all cracked and sore because of the pregnancy and the honey and maple syrup massage really helped, just like _IHaveAlwaysBeenTheAlpha_ said it would and I just … Derek?”

Derek’s gaze flitted back and forth between him and Peter, his expression increasingly resembling that of a man who was thinking about all the creative ways to murder his uncle, and Stiles … came to a startling realization.

“Peter? Just how exactly did Stiles receive information about pregnancy-related nipple issues from someone using your old World of Warcraft user name?”

Talia Hales’ voice was like steel and Stiles frantically wished for the earth to open up and swallow him whole when Peter Hale interrupted his laughing fit long enough to grace Stiles with a shit-eating grin.

“Well … oops? Look at it this way though, _Batman91_ , if you were willing to stick with Derek even through something as crazy as a magical male pregnancy at least we finally know you’ve got the right intentions with my dear nephew! Sorry for messing with you, but I swear that my intentions were noble and pure!”

“You mean that … you … I mean … Derek’s not pregnant?” Stiles asked, _hating_ the way his voice broke in the middle of the sentence, and Peter grinned, gleefully declaring, “Nope! _Duh!_ ”

For a moment, no one said anything and Stiles stared at the ground, both because he was not quite ready to face the judgmental faces of the entire Hale family and because his eyes were suddenly burning like crazy.

Then …

“I’m not a hundred percent sure what the hell is going on here, but I _do_ know that I’m going to put you in the shed. Right now,” Derek’s father said calmly at the same time as Derek charged at his uncle with a furious roar and Stiles stumbled back, mind still reeling from his shock as the three male Hale wolves took off running, their howls – furious, annoyed, and downright gleeful respectively – sounding through the nightly forest.

When he turned back towards the Hale women they were all staring at him, alternating between sympathetic, fond, and, in Cora’s case, very confused, and Stiles shrugged, trying for a smile that didn’t quite make it to his face.

“Well … this is awkward.”

 

======================

_Derek_

“So you really thought I was pregnant?”

“Yes.”

“Because you found a topic about male pregnancy in a forum that my uncle recommended to you and believed that male werewolves get pregnant if they bottom during their first time?”

“Yes.”

“And then you kept talking to someone online who you thought was an expert on male pregnancy but was in fact my asshole uncle and he convinced you that it was possible?”

“Yes.”

“And then you kept finding symptoms that, in hindsight, were all my uncle’s doing, and believed we were going to have a … a _litter_?”

“Yes.”

“That’s why you’ve been acting so weird lately?”

“… yes.”

“Because you were horrified?”

“Ye … What? _No_!” Stiles exclaimed, offended, and Derek raised his eyebrows, prompting him to continue.

“I wasn’t horrified! Well, in the beginning, sure, because who wouldn’t have been, but then I thought about it, like, _really_ thought about what it would mean and I realized that I … wasn’t so horrified after all,” Stiles said, his voice growing quieter with every word as he looked anywhere but at Derek.

He smelled miserable and Derek felt utterly helpless, not quite sure if his boyfriend was upset because of Peter’s prank or because Derek wasn’t actually pregnant.

“So … you’d actually want to have a family with me someday?” he asked softly and Stiles sighed loudly, looking up at him with a resigned expression.

“I’d get if you want to break up with me. I do, I mean, who wants to date the town idiot who actually thought he’d magically knocked up his werewolf boyfriend? You don’t have to be nice about it, hell, after all that weirdness I put you through you definitely deserve some payback. I rubbed your nipples with honey and maple syrup for heaven’s sake, I mean, who does that? A crazy person, that’s who, so I’ll just …”

“I don’t want to break up with you! Jesus, Stiles!” Derek growled, tugging him closer and wrapping his arms around him, nudging against his face to get him to look up.

“You thought I was pregnant with a whole litter and you didn’t run for the hills even though we’re still in high school _and_ it shouldn’t even be possible? Why would I want to break up with someone who loves me so much he’d stand by my side even when faced with a whole litter of … ass-babies?”

“That’s … a colorful way of putting it,” Stiles mumbled, his own arms tightening against Derek and when he pulled back his eyes were once more shimmering with tears.

“I would have never run for the hills, Derek! Not because of that and not because of anything other werewolf-related either. I’m sorry if I’ve given your family the impression I would have, that wasn’t my intention at all, I thought you guys knew that I …”

“You didn’t!” Derek interrupted him quickly, peppering his face with kisses and squeezing him tighter.

“You really didn’t,” Talia Hale said gently and Derek could feel Stiles tensing in his arms, not looking up when Derek’s parents and his grandmother entered the bedroom.

“I’m really sorry for my brother’s behavior, Stiles. He’s been playing pranks on my children ever since they were born, but I don’t think he realized just how cruel this one would be to you. I’m not sure what he was trying to prove, if he was even trying to prove anything at all, but whatever it was, he did not act with our permission and he does not speak for our family,” Talia said as she sat down on Derek’s back, gently rubbing between Stiles’ shoulder blades to relax him.

“How would he even come up with something so ridiculous?” Derek asked, the wolf inside him whining when Stiles’ scent once more filled with dismay, and it was his grandmother who answered, her tone thoughtful.

“It’s not … completely unprecedented little Bear,” she said and Derek gaped at her at the same time as Stiles’ head whipped around, his boyfriend’s eyes wide as he stared at the oldest Hale woman.

“What? Really?” he breathed and Derek’s grandmother nodded, her expression kind as she patted Stiles’ shoulder.

“It’s been a couple of decades since it happened on this coast, but it’s possible. Rare but possible. However, it does take a little bit more magic than just the full moon and a first time. Actual magic, in fact,” she confirmed, smiling at Stiles encouragingly when the human inhaled sharply.

“It’s a very old spell that has been passed down from emissary to emissary for generations,” Talia explained, “and even then it needs to be a very powerful emissary to pull this off. Werewolf bodies are used to adapt to change, but sometimes we do need a bit of magical help to pull it off.”

“So Deaton could help me and Stiles get pregnant some day? If that’s what we wanted?” Derek asked, his mind boggling at the possibility, and his mother shook her head, her smile fond.

“Alan’s not quite powerful enough to perform a spell like this. However, he did offer to start training our new emissary and he says that the earlier one begins with training the more likely it is that one will be able to perform the more complicated spells later on. So yes, it could be possible,” Derek’s mother said and Derek looked at her questioningly, not quite daring to hope.

“You mean …” he began and Talia nodded, beaming as she patted Stiles’ shoulder.

“I know it’s a little early to make such long-term commitments. You two are young and even though you are in love now that might not be the case this time next year. We will need a new emissary at some point, however, and if you were able to channel the same love and devotion you carry for Derek into protecting this pack then you’d make an excellent emissary some day! If you wanted to, of course.”

“What?” Stiles gasped, wide-eyed and genuinely shocked.

“You’d want _me_ as your emissary? Really? After all this? Are you sure that …”

“You don’t have to make a decision right now Stiles, but yes, we’d be honored to have you as our emissary someday.”

“No pressure, of course, though I must say I’d _love_ to have a great-grand-cub someday! It’s not a requirement for the position, obviously, but I do knit a mean onesie if I do say so myself,” Greta Hale added, winking at Derek over Stiles’ shoulder.

Stiles let out a shaky laugh, his fingers finding Derek’s and squeezing tightly.

“Good … that’s … that’s good to know,” Stiles said, smiling hesitantly at Derek and Derek leaned forward to kiss him, softly and soundly.

“I’m not in a hurry to have kids, I promise,” he said when they pulled apart and Stiles let out a tired laugh, his tension finally seeping away as he slumped against Derek’s chest.

“Trust me, after the month I’ve had it’s going to be _decades_ before I can even think about having children again. At least!”

 

====================

_10 Years Later_

“Are you nervous?”

“What? No? I mean, why would I be, it’s not like there aren’t literally a million things that could mess up the spell or anything, so really, why would I be nervous?”

“The fact that you’re making the bed shake is purely a coincidence, then?”

“Absolutely! You have, in fact, never seen me so calm and collected. I …”

“Stiles,” Derek said softly, opening his arms and pulling Stiles closer, naked skin pressed against naked skin as their lips met in the softest of kisses.

“I lied. I’m really fucking nervous,” Stiles whispered against Derek’s lips and Derek held him closer, feeling Stiles’ heart pound against his ribcage and wondering if Stiles could feel his own pounding right back.

“I’m nervous, too,” Derek admitted and Stiles nuzzled against his cheek, his hands gripping Derek’s arms tightly.

“You sure you want this, though, right? We can still stop, we can …”

“I want this. So much,” Derek confirmed and Stiles let out a shaky breath, whispering “I love you,” before he slowly kissed down Derek’s neck, his chest, his ribcage, lingering over Derek’s belly for a moment before he straightened up again, his eyes filled with emotion as he hooked Derek’s legs over his shoulders.

“Hey, Stiles?” Derek whispered, linking their fingers together, and Stiles smiled back, his thumbs rubbing circles into the back of Derek’s hands.

“Yeah?”

“Just … try not to go for a _litter_ , alright?”

Stiles laughed, a carefree sound washing over Derek and soothing his own nerves.

“I’ll try my very best.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Success? Failure? Boy? Girl? Litter? No Litter? 
> 
> For once I've decided to leave that up to your imagination, my dear readers (though, if you're somewhat familiar with my stories, you can probably guess what my own headcanon is).
> 
>  
> 
> Hope you enjoyed reading this! I certainly enjoyed writing it, even though this story turned out to be very different from what I'd originally envisioned.
> 
> If you're interest in how my writing process works, here's a little tidbit of the behind-the-scenes progression :).
> 
> I created the word document in early 2015, wrote the first five pages (Stiles' musings over their first time) and for the longest time the working title was "Derek's Sisters Are Little Shits", because they were going to be the ones who decided to mess with Stiles. 
> 
> I'd look at the story every now and then, writing a couple of sentences but not quite feeling it, and in early 2016 I realized that the prank, as hilarious as it was on the surface, was actually quite nasty, leaving Peter as the only real master-mind behind it. So I deleted a whole paragraph and wrote the Hale family breakfast scene and after that things just clicked into place.
> 
>  
> 
> Hope you enjoyed reading and I'd love to hear your own headcanons as to what happened next in the comments :).

**Author's Note:**

> EDIT: I am pretty sure my writing style in humor fics doesn't really lend itself to Pod-Ficcery, but if anyone ever wanted to pod-fic this one I'd be very humbled :). I'd do it myself, but my spoken English is "Clearly Identifiable German who spent a lot of time in the US South and Still Pronounces 4 or 5 words the British way because that's how she was taught in grade 5", so I'd better not ;).


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